It's Just Invisible
by nhemmick
Summary: Since moving to Seaford, Jack's life has been pretty good, better than the previous towns he's lived in, but it comes at a cost: lying. Then the Warriors catch up and realize Jack's kept part of himself locked away, and Jack has to decide if he would rather protect the truth or keep his friends.
1. Chapter 1

Jack clenches his hands in fists until he can feel his nails piercing into his skin. His knuckles are white and his palms sting, but he doesn't want Kim to notice how badly his hands are trembling. He watches the match in front of him, each punch sends him spiraling back to his childhood, the last time he fought Kai. He makes sure to remain stoic, though inside he wants to run back home. Coming to China to compete in an international tournament seems foolish now. He flinches at the sickening sound of Kai's fist against the Italian's jaw. He knows what Kai's hits feel like, and what it's like to not be able to do anything.

The Italian starts to slow down, each second is more painful, harder to fight back. _Hang in there,_ Jack wants to say. _Don't let him win._ Kai is clearly winning however, and Jack will have to fight him in the finals. He wishes this match would last forever because the sooner this one ends, the sooner he'll have to face Kai. Three years had passed since he last fought him or rather, since Kai had attacked him, and it wasn't enough to forget. There would never be enough time to forget everything Kai had done.

Jack takes a deep breath. This time there were referees with stricter rules; Kai would have to follow them or risk disqualification, and if there was anything Jack knew about his cousin, it's that he would do anything to get an award. Even if he likes taking out his anger on Jack, he'll save it for a better occasion.

Although those thoughts are reassuring, Jack still longs for the rocks Kim had bought to focus his restless energy. He hadn't slept much last night, too preoccupied with the fear of today and the final match. He had relived every moment with Kai, and came to the conclusion that his cousin was a dirty cheat and terrible person. Jack just wishes the world agreed with him. Somehow, Kai had won almost every fight, and the odds were he would win this one too. Jack has enough physical, he knows that, but Kai has the confidence, and that was most of the battle right there.

He can't stand watching this match any longer, and leaves for the locker room where he unties a bracelet. He looks at the black cord and red cross pendent, flinging it into the locker. That stupid bracelet. Without it, he would have beaten Kai last time, and wouldn't be anxious about today. He snaps out of his thoughts when he hears hollering behind him. Before he can process what's happening, he's attacked by three people in ninja costumes. They holler again and lash out with kicks and punches. Jack smoothly blocks them, relying on his instincts and reflexes. He spins around and straightens his leg in a back kick, sending one opponent crashing to the floor. He then backfists another one and grabs onto the bo staff to provide more momentum on his next kick. But the last ninja seizes the opportunity to slam the bo staff against Jack's wrist. Jack crashes to the floor, and winces when he hears it crack. He braces himself, waiting for them to attack him, but instead a loud kihap echos through the room, and someone steps in, defending Jack. He can't see their face, but is momentarily impressed by their ability to fight. It's a flurry of hand techniques, and one of the ninja's sleeves slides up and shows their intricate dragon tattoo. The only other person Jack knows who can fight this well is… Kai.

Of course. Tired and haggard from his last match, Kai sends the ninjas running, and stretches a hand out to help Jack up. He warily takes it, eyeing his cousin. It's unlike Kai to do something he doesn't directly benefit from.

"Thanks," Jack mutters, cradling his injured hand.

"Who were those guys?"

"I don't know. Probably the people I beat yesterday," he says with a wry smile. He touches his hand carefully, testing for pain. The skin is swollen and tender; there will be a bruise tomorrow. When he clenches his hand, and he can feel the tendons shaking and struggling under his skin.

"Can you still fight?" Kai asks.

"Probably not," he sighs. "I guess we'll see."

Jack retrieves his bracelet and slams the locker shut. He wants to find his sensei, someone he could really talk to and sort this out, but instead he runs into Kim. She notices Jack clutching his wrist and sees Kai following with his arms crossed. After everything Jack has told her about his cousin, she quickly draws the conclusion that Kai is the reason Jack's hurt. She steps forward immediately ready to fight Kai, but Jack pulls her back with his good hand. "Kim, he didn't do anything."

She looks wildly from Kai to Jack before stepping closer to him. "Are you blackmailing him?" she demands. There must be a reason Jack was protecting Kai.

"Oh, please. I'm not petty," Kai sneers.

Jack snorts. "You are literally the definition of petty, but no, Kim. He's not blackmailing me. He-"

"I saved wittle Jackie."

Jack whirls around, wishing he could hit Kai. His cousin's existence was enough to piss Jack off, but his comment had pushed the last domino over. "You did not fucking save me," he hisses.

Kim's eyes widen, and she steps between the boys, hoping to avoid a fight. She carefully pushes them away and says, "You know, it doesn't really matter. What happened to your hand?" Kai rolls his eyes and saunters off.

"Some guys jumped me in the locker room and they smashed a bo staff over my hand. I think it's broken."

Kim's face is pinched in disgust. "Who would do that? They could and _should_ be disqualified!"

"I couldn't see their faces," he says with a shrug.

There's no way to accuse someone if he can't describe what they looked like. "I'll find Rudy. We should make sure your hand is fine." Jack collapses on a nearby bench and passes his good hand through his hair. Everything has crashed so quickly. What if he can't fight? That would defeat the whole point of coming half way around the world. And after all the anxiety the final match had caused; he had finally worked up the confidence to fight Kai, and it would be for nothing. He sure as hell isn't about to quit. Especially not against Kai.

Rudy comes over with the field clinician at his side. He turns Jack's hand over, examining it. "It's definitely injured. You won't be able to fight."

"But I didn't come all this way to forfeit!" Jack protests.

"I'm sorry," the doctor says, though his words hold no emotion. "You'll have to get it looked at closer back home."

Jack looks to Rudy hopelessly, but his sensei has ducked behind a wall, sputtering loudly. "Look, Jack, I know it's not what you wanted, but at least you were gonna try and fight Kai. You didn't give up," Kim tries.

Jack nods numbly. Her words don't help. He appreciates her trying, but there's not much people can say to cheer him up.

"I saw some bubble tea outside. Shall we drown ourselves in it?" She loops an arm through his and smiles up at him.

"I hope you're paying 'cause I'm out of money," Jack grumbles.

...

Sitting at the award ceremony, Jack tries to be happy that at least a family member won, but Kai throws a dozen smug looks at Jack and it'a infuriating. Kai hefts the trophy in the air as if he went through a long and harrowing fight. Jack rolls his eyes. His cousin greediness has no limits.

After the ceremony, crosses the room to congratulate Kai, scoffing at Kai's friends who throw their arms around him and pat his back. The sleeve of one of their gi's slides up and Jack sees a long tattoo. "Hey Kai!" Jack says loudly. His cousin turns and eyes Jack. "This guy a friend of yours?"

"Yeah, why?"

"'Cause he's got the same tattoo as one of the guys that jumped me!" he exclaims and yanks the sleeve. "Have fun with your trophy, champ." He shakes his head, walking back to Kim and Rudy. Kai had planned the whole thing. He couldn't eliminate Jack, so he got through with his friends. He finds a little satisfaction, knowing that Kai was afraid to fight him. Jack's body is suddenly propelled forward when Kai kicks him in the back. His cousin stands over him, as Jack scrambles to his feet. Rage shines in Kai's eyes as he moves to attack his cousin. A crowd forms around them, though no one intervenes, watching the scene unfold.

Kai pushes Jack outside the pagoda, so that they're out in the open, on the Great Wall. It would be so easy for one of them to go tumbling over…. Fear settles in Jack's stomach like silt in the bottom of a lake, but Kai's incoming kick distracts his mind and he refocuses on the fight at hand. He jumps onto a low wall, and losing his balance, he grabs onto the staff Kai had picked up. Kai twists the staff with such a velocity that Jack flips over, and lands on his back. With a groan he rolls over, dodging a close blow as Kai slams the staff down. Jack shoves Kai back, harder than he thought, and he stumbles over the edge. Jack lunges forward and grabs Kai's forearm. His cousin looks up, terror stricken.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry. Just please don't let me fall."

"I've got you," Jack groans as he pulls him up. Kai collapses back onto the wall, and the crowd sighs in relief. Kai gathers his remaining strength, drawing himself up, and grabs Jack's hurt hand.

"That just proves your weak," Kai chuckles and smashes a fist into Jack's hand. Jack moans in pain, but still manages to catch the incoming kick. Using Kai's momentum against him, Jack sends him flying into a bench. It shatters under Kai's weight as he slumps to the ground. Panting, Jack pulls himself up and limps over to Kim and Rudy. This time he beat Kai.

Panting, Milton and Jerry come running in. "You would not believe what we've been through!" Milton exclaims.

...

The warriors leave the plane, exchanging their wild adventures in China. Kim laughs at the boys' misfortune, and Jerry shakes his head irritably. "It's not funny, Kim! We could get in serious trouble over this!"

"You won't get in trouble, Jerry. At least, I don't think you will…" she trails off ominously with a teasing smile. Milton shudders under her comment and mutters something under his breath. Jerry and Kim snicker at his comment while Jack silently walks next to them. Kim takes notice of his odd behavior; on the plane he had been distant, staring out the window and twisting his bracelet around, and he hasn't said anything since, but when she gives him a questioning look, he gives a small smile and brushes her concern off.

As soon as they get to their families, a five year old crashes into Jack's knees. He laughs and hugs his little sister, taking her hand and letting her pull him over to their mom. Jack looks back at the warriors and mouths, "Help me" but they laugh it off, knowing he's not actually annoyed.

He smiles pleasantly at his mother who reaches around his neck for a hug. "We missed you, Jackson," she says warmly.

"And I you," he states with faux cordiality.

"I want a hug!" Ava shouts, jumping up and grabs at Jack. He flinches as she hangs on to his injured arm. His sweatshirt hides the brace, but Ava curiously pulls at his sleeve. She eyes the brace suspiciously and starts to pull at the velcro straps.

"Hey, stop," Jack says, breaking off from the conversation with his mom.

She sighs and rubs her forehead, tiredly asking, "Do I even want to know?" Happy and warm to exasperated in the blink of an eye. Jack didn't miss her fluctuating personalities in China.

"It's a _fascinating_ tale, Mom."

She sighs again. "That doesn't sound good." Jack offers her a shrug as he makes his way to find his luggage. "Do we need to stop at the hospital on the way home?"

"I mean, like, _technically_ we should, but it's fine if we don't," he says facing away. He spots his suitcase and pulls it out. Making a point to loosen his muscles and let his eyes drop, he gives her a haggard look. "I'm tired. Can't we just go home?"

She purses her lips and finally asks, "How much does it hurt?"

"It hardly does." That doesn't mean much, though. Jack has a high pain tolerance, and will make anything up to avoid going to the hospital. "I can't turn it over, but I can move it like this." He demonstrates moving it up and down.

"How did you hurt it?"

"Someone hit it with a bo staff."

His mom sighs and shakes her head. "It's probably just a fracture-"

"Homeward bound!" Jack declares. He scoops up his things.

" _-so_ ," she continues, "we should go get it checked out and make sure it's not worse." Jack tips his head back and groans.

Kim walks back and laughs at him. "You seem so happy to be back, Brewer."

"Nothing says 'welcome home' like a trip to the ER!" he says sarcastically.

"Next time don't come home with a broken arm," his mom interjects. And then quietly she says, "We can't afford another medical bill. Why are you always getting hurt?"

"It's always after I'm with Kai," he mutters. He catches her disapproving look and rolls his eyes, catching up with Kim to avoid a debate with his mom. Ava tags along, clutching her brother's hand.

"Hey, what was going on back there? When we were getting off the plane?" Kim asks as she bumps Jack's shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"You were really quiet."

"When?"

"When we got off the plane!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Everything up until the present moment seems distant, fuzzy

"Jerry and Milton were telling us about their adventures in China and you were… unresponsive. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Oh, I'm fine. Just… lost in thought."

"What were you thinking about?" Kim prods.

"Nothing," he lies.

"Jack! Come on, you can tell me."

"It wasn't anything specific. Just, like, the week and stuff. I guess."

She scoffs. "Right. That doesn't sound like bull-"

"I'm going to take this minute," Jack interrupts, "to remind you of Ava. You know, my five year old sister." He wraps his arms around her shoulders protectively, and draws her in, pretending that she's much more innocent than she really is.

Kim grins sheepishly. "Sorry."

"Jack, let's go. I don't want to spend another night stuck in the ER," his mom says.

"We could always _not_ go," Jack grumbles, but he says goodbye to Kim and his friends before catching up with her.

...

Jack rests his head against the car window. "I know you were just on the other side of the world and are jet lagged, but are you _really_ that tired?" his mom asks.

"I don't think it's the jet lag," he says. His body is so drained he feels s if he could sleep for the next three days. Not the mention the pulsing headache he hasn't been able to shake since he got off the plane.

She gives im a sympathetic look, and in an effort to distract him says, "I'm still waiting to hear this amazing story."

Jack picks himself up, rubbing his eyes. "Kai was too scared to fight me in the final rounds, so he decided to have his friends attack me in the locker room. Coward," he mutters.

"When will you two learn to get along? You used to when you were little."

"We got along until we were six. That just means we actually developed personalities, and his happened to suck."

"For the last time, Jack, Kai did not-"

"He _did-_ "

"Can we not discuss this now?" she sighs.

"Right, 'cause you want to hear every story but that one."

"Will hearing it save me thousands of dollars of hospital bills?" she mutters.

Jack rolls his eyes. Obviously not, she knew that. "I just thought maybe you would care."

"I do care! But it was so long ago, and you know how things get jumbled up in your head-"

"So Kai can get away with anything because I'm brain damaged," Jack says flatly.

"You're not brain damaged, Jackson." He scoffs. The car lurches to a stop at a red light, and his mom turns to him. "You're not," she repeats, but Jack continues staring out the window.

From the back the car Ava says in a grave voice, "I don't like Kai either, Jackie." He gives a small laughs and fist bumps her.

"You hardly even know him, Ava," their mom argues.

"But he's mean. And Jackie doesn't like him."

"You see what kind of influence you have on her?" his mom says, trying to be serious, but she can't help laughing a little.

"I'm leading her down the right path," Jack says indignantly.

"I worry about you," she sighs.

"You never _stop_ worrying about me."

"That's because I love you so much!" His mom blows him a kiss teasingly.

Jack sniggers. "Thanks, Mom."

"Anytime sweetheart." She pulls into an open spot. "Let's try and keep this visit under three hours, yeah?"

After several x-rays and some very long hours of Ava's energy bouncing off the wall, the radiologist decides Jack's hand is just bruised. He would be fine without any kind of cast or treatment. After the ER, they go out to eat; his mom doesn't feel like making dinner. After spending a week in China, Jack craves authentic American food, and by 7:00, the Brewers pull outside their small duplex. Two cars are already parked outside, belonging to the other family. Jack takes his sister in his arms and carries her upstairs whiles his mom hauls his luggage inside. Once Ava is tucked in bed, Jack collapses in his room, breathing in the smell of home: a mixture of his mom's old science books and peppermint.

He's already drifting away when his mom comes in with his bags. "Hey," she says in a subdued voice. "I know you want to sleep, so I brought your stuff up." Jack doesn't respond, and she gently touches his shoulder. "Jack?"

"Do I have to brush my teeth?" he mumbles into his pillow.

"I don't care, but you do have to take your medication."

Jack groans loudly as she rummages through the pockets, trying to find the orange bottle.

"Here." She tosses the bottle over and Jack continues to grumble as he unscrews the cap.

"I don't want to deal with side effects," he mutters.

"I don't want to deal with withdrawal tomorrow," she counters. Jack sighs and pops them in his mouth. His mom kisses the top of his head and turns off his light, but Jack is asleep before she closes the door.

* * *

 **I'm pretty excited about this story, and I hope you guys enjoy it!**

 **Until next time,**

 **-Rui**


	2. Chapter 2

**It should be noted that this is written with the old dojo in mind, and not the fancy one Rudy gets in season 4.**

* * *

It's almost noon when Jack wakes up, unable to think speak, or move. He stares blankly at the wall opposite his bed. There's pressure against his left cheek. It hurts, but he doesn't know why. It only lasts for a moment until he blinks several times and is able to drag himself out of bed.

He runs his tongue along the inside of his cheek, grimacing when he tastes the bitter, metallic tang of blood. He can feel the myriad of scars along his cheek, but now there's a new one, swollen and standing out against the others. Jack inspects his face in his phone's camera, making sure it's also invisible to the outside world. He ties his bracelet on, and sorts through his clean clothes. Just as he's pulling on a clean pair of jeans, Ava tumbles through the door.

"Jesus, Ava," Jack snaps. "Knock next time."

She glares at him. "I did. I knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked and then I said your name and-"

"Okay, okay. I get it. What do you need?"

"Mom said you have to get up now."

"I am," he says. His patience is wearing thin.

"But she wants to _see_ you," she whines. "Can I have a piggy back ride?" She peers at him with hopeful eyes. Jack gives her a reluctant smile and crouches down so she can leap onto his back. "Go, piggy, go!" she squeals. He laughs as he runs down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Ava said you wanted to talk," Jack says to his mom who is reading at the table.

"Yeah, she was hollering at you for three straight minutes," she notes, looking at him apprehensively. Jack shrugs but doesn't offer her an answer. "Anyway, you need to get used to our time again, so I wanted to make sure you were awake. _And_ I want to hear all about China."

"Mom, I could sleep for days and still be tired," Jack says as Ava slides down his back and wanders into the living room to play.

"That's because you have. How was the tournament?" Jack makes himself a bowl of cereal and his mom slides the orange pill bottle when he sits down.

"It was good. They were all really skilled athletes, and there were some close matches, but somehow I got to the finals. Then Kai sabotaged me, so y'know. Not the best ending." He scowls at the medication and the memory.

"I'll have to call my sister and see what Kai has to say about this."

"You know he'll just deny it," Jack mutters.

His mom shrugs. "Maybe not, we'll see. How's your hand, anyway?"

Jack flexes his hand. "It's fine. Still hurts to bend it, though." She nods and takes a sip of her coffee.

"Are _you_ alright?" Jack asks, squinting at her. "You've been really tense since I got home."

"I'm fine."

"Mom-"

"It's just… bills, as always. And you'll be going to college soon and that in itself is incredibly stressful." Jack starts to respond but she cuts him off, knowing her son well enough and what he wants to say. "Don't apologize. None of it is your fault."

"I could work for Rudy if it's money you're worried about," he offers.

"No, sweetheart. I couldn't ask that of you. We'll be fine."

"Will we have to move again?" Jack asks and swirls the soggy, bloated cheerios around in the milk.

"No, of course not." She looks into her coffee like she's reading tea leaves. "I know how much you like it here."

Jack nods and rinses out his bowl. "I'm gonna go to the dojo."

"Don't you have homework?"

"Yeah, we're all doing it there."

"I love you! Be careful!" she calls as he grabs his skateboard.

"Always," he says with a cheeky smile and buckles his helmet.

 **...**

The dojo mats are buried under everyone's homework as Jerry's dance music blasts over the speakers. Milton mumbles his Latin vocabulary to himself while Kim and Jerry work on their US history project, arguing over the best metaphor for the Great Depression. Jack wordlessly drops his backpack next to them and spreads out his work, adding it to the growing pile of paper.

It takes them the rest of the day before the mountain begins to wane. Even then, there's still a decent lump of assignments. Milton slams his chemistry textbook shut while screaming, "Gah!" He rubs his head. "Thermochemistry is interesting, yes, but I was just finding the momentum of a 65 kilogram skier, and my brain can't handle switching subjects like this."

Kim laughs. "Yes, that's what it's like to be normal."

"Average," Jack corrects immediately.

Milton draws himself up in mock indignation. "Are you implying that I'm _abnormal_?"

"Milton, I love you, but no one finds thermochem interesting," Kim shoots back.

"Well, no one dances as terribly as you."

"At least I didn't accidentally marry someone!"

"I don't speak Chinese! It doesn't even have Latin roots, so how was I supposed to know what was happening?!"

"Wait. You're _married_ , Milton?" Jack asks. The teasing falters as all three warriors look at Jack dubiously.

"No… She was talking about what happened to Jerry and me in China," Milton says.

"I don't remember that..."

"You weren't paying attention. You we're 'thinking about the week and stuff.'" Kim quotes from the previous day.

"Oh, _that's_ what you were talking about. Yeah, sorry. I wasn't listening at all." He tries to give them a joking smile to prove that he was fully aware that he had tuned them out, but quickly drops it when they all respond blankly. The dojo hushes with only Jerry's music playing. The longer the silence hovers, the more awkward it gets.

"So, uh, what about a study break at Phil's?" Jerry offers. They all agree quickly, standing up when Rudy rushes in.

"We just got back from an international tournament, and there's already all this other shit I have to deal with," he raves. Rudy strides across the dojo and slams his door shut. The Warriors exchange glances wondering if they should talk to Rudy or let him stew. Jack cautiously knocks on the office door and leans against it as he listens in.

"Rudy? Is everything alright?" Rudy flings the door open. Jack flails his arms, trying to catch himself and lands ungracefully on the floor.

"No, it's not. Whatever gave you that idea?"

Jack shrugs from the ground. "Had a hunch."

"What's up?" Jerry asks and pulls Jack up.

"There aren't enough students enrolled here to pay the bills because while we were in China, Ty swayed them into thinking there was something wrong with the dojo." He sighs heavily. "The bank's threatening to foreclose." Jack tightens his lips and his hair casts a dark shadow around him.

When Jack doesn't offer his usual pep talk, Kim steps in. "We'll figure something out, Rudy. We lost the dojo once. It won't happen again." Jack nods, agreeing with her. Her voice is confident, and everyone blindly follows her. "We can do more demos. And this time, Jack will set his alarm clock, and I'll actually show up. It'll be fine. And, worst comes to worst, Bobby wouldn't let us lose the building. You could always ask him for a little extra help with the bills."

"You know that might work, Kim. I-I'll go talk to Bobby" he stammers, ducking his head and disappearing back into his office. The Warriors stay quiet as they try to wrap their heads around losing the dojo. Jack chews on his sore cheek from earlier that morning. He couldn't lose the dojo -not after he finally had friends and was happy in Seaford. He wanted to believe that without the building, they would stay together, but it's the foundation to their friendship.

"Yo, guys, do you actually think we'll lose this place again?" Jerry wonders out loud. Jack glances around as he remembers everything they'd been through. The last three years at this dojo meant the world to Jack, but it looked like everything was going to fall apart.

"I really hope not."

 **...**

With his hoodie pulled low over his eyes, Jack silently colors in Curious George as his step-sister chirps on and on. Not paying attention to a single word that's coming out of her mouth he nods and hums in agreement. Their mom is banging around in the kitchen and Jack flinches each time she loudly puts another pot away. He's had another headache since the startling news of losing the dojo,and it amplifies every sound. Afraid to skateboard with such an intense headache, he had caught a ride with Kim, but even without that exercise, he's worn-out. He reaches for a dark green crayon which takes more energy than he thought it would. Jack's relieved he finished his school work earlier; there's no way he would be able to focus on anything now. It's barely 6:00 and he's praying he'll have enough energy to get through dinner and make it into bed. The spoons clatter as they're thrown into the drawer, and Jack groans clutching his head. His mom throws a glance at him while pushing it shut.

"You okay, kiddo?" she asks as she turns away.

"Fine," he mumbles and she looks back at him, recognizing his tone as anything but alright.

"Jack-"

"I'm just tired." He absentmindedly drags the crayon along the paper.

Then she casually asks, "How was your day?"

Jack cringes inside. He hates that question. She means well; he knows that, but every time she or his step dad asked him how his day was, he can't help but think of how different his answer is, how abnormal it is as Milton put it that morning. Waiting as long as he can, Jack runs his forefinger over the crayon before putting it down and leaning back in his chair.

"It was...uneventful," he finally decides.

"Really?" Her voice rises in relief, and knowing what she took his comment to mean, Jack feels guilty.

"It wasn't worse than any other day," he corrects. Her shoulders slump forward. Before she can question him further he quickly asks, "When's dinner?"

His mom throws him an irritated look, knowing that he purposely changed the subject. "Stephen said he was getting home around seven, but Ava is having dinner earlier, so she gets to bed on time."

Jack sighs inwardly. How the hell is he supposed to make it another hour? It's taking all of his brainpower just to hold a conversation. He's vaguely aware of Ava complaining about not getting to see her dad, and his mom make her a deal. He wants to tell her that he's exhausted and was going to sleep early, but he can't seem to pull any words into a coherent sentence. He can't move, either. Momentarily stuck in place, he sits and listens, waiting for his brain to snap out of this.

 _1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711_

Sometimes remembering the Fibonacci Sequence speeds up the process. Slowly he can feel himself returning, like a windshield was covered in dust and someone had finally wiped it clean. The last of his energy swilrs down the drain. There's no way he can make it another hour until Stephen gets home.

"Can I have dinner with Ava?" he asks, closing his eyes and resting his head on the back of the chair.

"Did something happen today? Why are you so tired?" his mom asks anxiously. He sighs again. It's getting so hard to focus.

"I dunno... " He's still having trouble with words. His eyes flutter open when he feels her hand under his chin. She stares at him, brows furrowed, making sure he's okay.

"Jackson, how many have you had today?" she asks quietly but firmly.

He drops his gaze. "I dunno," he repeats. "Probably three or four?'

She caresses his cheek and drops her hand. "Jesus."

His lips twitch in a lopsided grin as he murmurs, "Sorry, it's jus' me." She laughs lightly and shakes her head before reaching for silverware.

"Did you take your medication when you got home?"

He can't hold his growing frustration back any longer. "You're asking so many questions," he groans and then winces when a bowl clatters onto the table. "And yeah, I think I took them."

"You think?" she asks skeptically.

"He didn't!" Ava yells, messily shoving a spoonful of macaroni in her mouth. "All he did was come home and color with me." Her lips have a yellow ring around them from the cheesey sauce, and as she talks with her mouth full, a half-chewed piece of pasta falls out of her mouth. She picks it up, and sticks it back in her mouth, smacking her lips loudly. Jack looks away. He loves his sister, but she cam be so gross sometimes.

Jack's mom laughs tiredly. She shakes her head and passes a hand over her face. "Who do I trust?"

"Probably Ava," Jack admits with a rueful smile. Proudly, his sister beams and uses her hands to stuff more mac and cheese in her mouth. Jack stands up and pulls her into a side hug. "We'd be lost without you, monkey." _Even though you are one of the grimiest kids I've met_ , he silently adds. He grabs the orange bottle and twists the cap off the top, an action forever engraved in his bones; even if he can't remember his name, Jack has a sickening feeling that he'd be able to open a stupid bottle.

"We should find a better way to keep track before you take too many or miss one," his mom says.

Jack chuckles. "Yeah, you've been saying that for the last ten years."

"We'll get around to it one day," she says, but he knows her words are as empty as the last time she said it. Jack doesn't care, though. Even with a more refined method of taking his meds, he would still manage to mess it up. He leans heavily against the wall as the floor sways underneath him. He clenches his jaw, hoping that it passes quickly, and then slowly wanders down to his bedroom. Spending a week so close to his friends who didn't know about this part of his life was stressful enough, but now it felt like he was catching up on a week of hiding. He bitterly wishes he could negotiate which days suck and which days he could be left the hell alone.

He pulls his hoodie over his head and tosses it onto the ground. His floor is littered with his dirty laundry from China. He swears under his breath, realizing he forgot to do his laundry, and now he doesn't have anything clean to wear to school tomorrow. He shakes his head. That's an issue to solve later. Right now all he cares about is curling up under his blankets and getting as much sleep as possible.

* * *

 **The snowball starts rolling in the next few chapters... stay tuned :)**

 **Any predictions about what's going on/what will happen? I'm curious what people think.**

 **Please review!**

 **-Rui**


	3. Chapter 3

There's no better start to the week than by being late to his first class. Jack drags his body through his normal routine with a head that feel as if it's been stuffed with cotton. He pulls on the same clothes from yesterday, not caring enough to find something clean. Still half asleep, he slumps forward on the kitchen table.

"Jack Brewer, long time no see," his stepfather says. Jack mumbles a hello back, nestling his face into his arms. "Better wake up soon. You're already gonna be late."

"What? Why didn't you wake me up?" He panics, suddenly awake and squinting at the clock; he'll be lucky if he gets to first block before it ends. Stephen shrugs and flips a pancake.

"I thought I would be the nice parent today. Let you sleep in. Honestly, being late to an _English_ class isn't the end of the world." Even though Jack's mom insists he excel at every subject, Stephen has always argued against the point of analyzing literature.

"You're always the nice parent," Jack teases and takes a pancake off the stack.

"Don't tell your mother that," he says with a wink. He pours more batter into the pan, and it sizzles loudly. Jack takes a seat across his sister and watches as she drowns it in maple syrup, almost emptying the whole bottle. Before she uses all of it, Jack snatches it away. They eat in silence as Stephen starts to clean up the dishes. "Are you almost ready? We should be leaving soon." Jack nods, dumping his plate in the sink and gathering his books. He helps Ava zip up her jacket and the three of them leave.

The engine turns on and Stephen shifts the car into reverse but then he stops and looks at Ava and Jack. "Does everyone have everything? Do you have your lunch, monkey?" he asks.

Ava waves her bright green lunch box around, and Stephen looks at Jack. "Did you take your medication?"

Jack groans, releasing his seat belt and flying up the stairs, two at a time. He quickly counts out his dose and then runs back down, almost crashing into his neighbor and classmate. She mutters angrily and Jack tosses an apology over his shoulder and heaves himself back into the car. "Good?" Stephen asks with an amused smile.

"Yeah," Jack pants.

 **...**

They drop Ava off at the elementary school on the way to Seaford High. The halls are mostly empty, save for a few straggling kids and hall monitors. Jack pops into the main office to grab a pass and then slowly wanders down to his class.

The room is quiet as his classmates idly type their essays. Jack hands the late pass over to Ms. Gorman.

"Nice of you to show up," she says. He offers her an apologetic smiles, grabs a laptop from the cart, and dumps his bag next to Jerry. He glances around the room, suddenly aware of the increase in whispers and how everyone is staring or gesturing towards him.

"Uh, what did I miss?" he asks Jerry in a low voice.

"They wanted to know if you won in China or not."

Jack falters. Everyone at Seaford thinks highly of him; the one who helped their school win more trophies, or stopped the black dragons from taking advantage of everyone. It's true, they only think that because Jack chooses to show them that side, but he can't let the illusion fail. If they knew that he had lost… Well, in reality, they probably wouldn't care, but what if they started pulling apart the web he spends so long weaving everyday? "I told them what happened. I said you made it to the finals, but couldn't finish because you were attacked," Jerry continues.

"So they know I lost?" Jack asks, a knot forming in his stomach.

"They know you were wrongfully disqualified," Jerry corrects. Jack looks back at them, still whispering. _Look at him_ , he imagines them saying. _He wasn't good enough. His cousin beat him again._

Jack had thought that he could live with the way things ended in China. He scared Kai enough into making him cheat, and then still fought him and won even if he didn't end up with the trophy, but now he's mad at himself for letting his guard down in the locker room. He could have taken on three guys; it's embarrassing he didn't. He feels like a fraud for fooling the whole school into thinking he was unbeatable.

By lunch, the whole school knows about the Warriors' adventures in China, and despite their efforts to reassure Jack that he hadn't let anyone down, he continues to sulk. He quietly pokes at his food when Frank marches over to their table with two other Black Dragons flanking his sides. He smirks and folds his arms, looking down at Jack and his friends.

"So, Brewer, I heard you lost," he sneers. Jack glares at Frank but doesn't say anything. Milton and Jerry watch uncertainly, and Kim tenses, ready to pull Jack away from attacking Frank. He's locked in place like yesterday; his brain is frozen and he can't move or speak.

The buzz of the cafeteria slowly dies down as they think Jack and Frank are squaring off, anticipating a fight between the two.

 _1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711,_ Jack counts in his head, trying to get himself to snap out of it.

"And to your _cousin_? Man, you must be like the family disappointment!" The room is now completely silent, but there's a static energy like right before a thunderstorm. Everyone waits, assuming that Frank's comment must have hit a sore spot. They lean forward in their seats, but Jack doesn't argue back. He sits in silence, still glaring at Frank furiously. His friends look back and forth between Jack and Frank. Why isn't he doing anything? Why is he just letting Frank make fun of him?

 _28657, 46368, 755025, 121393, 196418, 317811, 514229, 832040, 1346269, 2178309..._

Frank laughs. "Yeah, that's what I thought." One Black Dragon flicks the back of Jerry's head, and then spilling their lunch trays. Kim stands up, ready to fight them. Too scared to fight her, they swagger off. The conversation in the cafeteria swells again, albeit disappointed in the lack of action. Jack rubs his face as soon as everyone stops watching him. Of all moments for his brain to malfunction, it had to be when everyone else was watching. Of course.

His friends desperately try to mop up the mess, and there's a pile of napkins growing. Milton tosses the last used napkin on top of the pile, and they all turn to Jack.

"What the hell was _that?_ " Kim demands, trying to keep her voice down. All three of his friends look at him in frustration and disappointment. "Since when do you let them walk all over you? I know you're upset about losing, but come on, he shouldn't get satisfaction in bullying you."

"Do you feel okay?" Jerry asks suspiciously, before Jack can answer. "Your first day here you didn't hesitate to shove falafel down their throats, and now you're letting them pick on you?"

Jack thinks quickly, trying to find the most believable lie. "I just… felt that it wasn't worth my energy. I didn't realize I had to justify myself to you guys." He mutters the last part under his breath, a dig at them in hopes that they'll back off. It works, and they glance away awkwardly.

"Of course you don't," Milton says hastily. "It's just that we noticed…" he pauses, trying to find the right words. "You don't deserve _that_ just because you lost."

Great. Now they thought he wants to throw a pity party. Jack shakes his head. "I don't. I just didn't want to deal with him, and it was easier to let him say his piece." He doesn't feel like he deserves to hear what Frank said, and he would have resisted, if he had the choice. What else was he supposed to say? _Don't worry guys. Sometimes I can't move or talk, but it's all good. Happens almost everyday._ Yeah, right. There's no telling how they would react, and he doesn't want Seaford to be like the last town he lived in. He's kept it a secret the last two years, and they still don't know, so why tell them now?

 **...**

Everyone continues pointing and whispering for the rest of day. _He lost the tournament. Frank walked all over him. Fraud. Coward._ He shrugs it off, pretending he doesn't care. He's now the laughing stock of Seaford, and he should care more than he does. Compared to previous schools Jack's attended, this is nothing. As long as Jack beats Frank at the next tournament, this will all be forgotten.

At the end of fourth period, Jack slings his bag over his shoulder, ready to head to the dojo, but then realizes he left his skateboard at home. Kim, Jerry and Milton all have British Literature together and are waiting for him in the hallway. The four of them leave the school together, each individually complaining about school.

"Hey, could I catch a ride with someone? I left my board at home," Jack says before they go separate ways.

"I can drive you," Kim offers.

Jerry scoffs. "When are you gonna get your licence, Jack? You're the only junior without one."

"My mom's too scared. She thinks I'll crash," Jack lies.

"Couldn't your dad teach you?" Milton asks, and Jack's heart skips a beat, trying to come up with another answer.

"Yeah, I guess, but why should I learn to drive when you guys can be my chauffeur?" he teases and tosses his bag in the back of Kim's car. "I bet we'll beat you guys."

"Milton! Huryy!" Jerry says, jumping in Milton's old station wagon. Because they were neighbors, the two took turns driving to school.

Kim has already started the engine, and shifted the car out of park, only waiting for Jack to close the door. "They don't stand a chance," she says with a chuckle and peels out of the parking lot. "Oh, hey, have I told you what happened today?" Kim asks casually while she cuts someone off, trying to stay in front of Jerry and Milton.

"No, what?"

"Milton downloaded an app, so he could anonymously call people, and literally, every two minutes in Brit Lit, he would call Jerry. But Jerry couldn't see who it was, and if he answered, it was just static. It was hilarious - he was really freaked out and couldn't stop the calls," she giggles. "You should have been there. He got his phone taken away because he wouldn't focus and kept yelling every time he got a new call."

Jack chuckles, trying to imagine what that class looked like. When their laughing dies down, a comfortable silence settles and Jack gazes out the window, his mind drifting to the dojo and what Rudy had said yesterday. What would Jack do without the dojo? He can't lose these friends as well. "Kim?" he asks.

"Hm?"

"Do you think Rudy will have to close the dojo?"

She sighs. "Well, we've all gone through a lot. We're pretty good at getting out of crappy situations. We just need to enroll more students to make a bigger profit."

"You're so optimistic," Jack says, and Kim snorts.

"I know, that's usually your job, but you haven't been doing a good job at it, so I guess I took on the role." The car pulls into the parking lot.

"I guess it's good to know there will always be someone keeping the team spirit up," Jack says lightly, hoping the conversation ends there. One hand is on the door handle, but Kim catches his other arm before he can make it out of the car.

"Jack, I know you like being private and secretive, but you've been acting weirder than normal, and I'm kinda worried."

Jack stares outside, avoiding her gaze. "I'm fine, Kim," he tries.

Kim narrows her eyes at him. "You've forgotten almost everything, don't pay attention to what we say, and don't care at all about what happened at lunch today. That's, like, three red flags."

"Not this again," Jack groans. "I thought we were over the Frank thing."

"Jerry and Milton might be, but I'm not. You've been really distant since we got back from China. Is… is there something at home?" She waits for him to answer, which he doesn't. "You can talk to me," she urges. Jack sighs and runs a hand through his hair. She's drawing all the wrong conclusions, but he doesn't know how to get her to back off.

"Look, I appreciate your concern, but there's nothing going on- not like what you think."

"Then what _is?_ "

"Jesus, Kim," he says loudly as he gets more frustrated. "I'll get over it, okay? It's not a big deal." _It just controls most of my life._

"Bullshit," she mutters, slamming the door shut. She storms off to the dojo, and Jack grabs his bag, following at a distance.

Because of their argument, Jerry and Milton are already inside with their gis on. They gloat at the others, but seeing the look in Kim's eye, quickly drop their smiles. Kim marches off into the locker room and the boys look at Jack questioningly. He shakes his head, not wanting to get into the fight and also goes into the boys' locker room to put his uniform on.

When he comes back, Rudy, Jerry, Kim and Milton are engaged in a conversation. "... even if students join, we probably can't keep it," Rudy says. "There are a lot of payments and regulations I'm behind on. We would need a _lot_ of students." Seeing that Jack is now ready for class. Rudy gestures to the open floor. "We should practice while we can."

...

Even though this is the first class after the tournament in China, Rudy doesn't take it easy on them. By the end, they're all drenched in sweat, muscles sore. Jack, having skipped out on the more grueling parts because of his hand, doesn't feel as tired, and lingers back while they change out of their gis. "Hey, could we talk for a minute?" Jack asks, nodding to Rudy's office.

"Yeah, sure," Rudy opens the door, and Jack sits heavily on the couch. "What's up?"

"You really think the dojo's closing?" Jack asks, wringing his hands. Realizing where this is going, Rudy leans his arms against his desk.

"Yes."

Jack falls back, and rubs his forehead. "I don't know what to do," he says. "After everything with Kai- I had to do so much to convince Mom I could do karate again, and now that doesn't even matter." His voice shakes and Jack clears his throat, trying not to sound so small.

"What did happen with you two?" Rudy's wondered this since Jack tried to pull out of the tournament, but couldn't find the right time to ask.

Jack sighs. "He's the reason I'm fucked up-"

"You're not fucked up," Rudy says immediately, and Jack rolls his eyes.

"I have a brain disorder! That's pretty fucked up."

"Fucked up means you're on a crime show and want to kill people," Rudy states flatly. "It does _not_ mean that every once in awhile you have a... a... moment."

Jack fidgets with his hands uncomfortably. "Tell that to the people in Oregon," he mutters, thinking back to those painful memories. "That's why I need karate; they cancel each other out. I don't want it controlling my entire life, and everyone always said I shouldn't do karate because it's too dangerous, so instead of leaving karate behind, I kept doing it. It's been the one thing that's kept me _normal_ , but if the dojo closes, I've lost. Again."

"Jack, it's just a building," Rudy says candidly. "Even without this place, you'll still have each other and karate."

"Yeah, but… can't we still _try_ to keep it?"

"I've spent years here, and the dojo's been through some great times, but it's never amounted to anything-"

"So you're gonna leave us because we never ' _amounted'_ to anything?" Jack asks angrily.

"No! God, no, that's not what I meant. It's just, I can't spend my whole life scraping by. I love being here and working with you guys, but I need to make something out of my life." Rudy shakes his head. "I know that's not what you want to hear, and I'm sorry, but it's true."

Jack doesn't know how to respond. Who is he supposed to talk to? His mom is always too busy or doesn't want to deal with it, and Jack isn't _that_ close with Stephen. He clenches his jaw and leaves Rudy's office, closing the door with more force than he intends. He pulls off his uniform, shoving it in his bag and then starts the long walk home. Both his parents are working, and Jack had intended on skateboarding home, but it's hard to skateboard without it.

"Hey, Brewer!" Kim calls. "Need another ride?" She drives next to the sidewalk with the window rolled down. Apparently she's over the fight they had.

"If you wouldn't mind, yeah."

 **…**

He rushes through a first draft of his essay and a couple trig problems before deciding it's enough work to get by. With his mom and Stephen gone, Jack finds the evening much more relaxing. No one is nagging him about grades or if he's okay, and he can do whatever he wants. Being at home with only Ava doesn't happen very often and Jack cherishes the moment. For some reason, his parents think it's safer for him to be home with a five year old than completely alone. All Ava can do in an emergency is go hollering to their neighbor. Jack thinks it's rather pointless, but if he's allowed a little extra freedom, he won't complain.

Jack digs through the freezer, hoping there's a frozen dinner somewhere, so he won't have to make food or do the dishes, and all the way in the back, he finally finds enough for him and Ava. While she is busy collecting pillows and blankets, Jack heats it up in the microwave. After dinner, they throw all the blankets on the couch and watch a movie.

Half way through it, their mom comes home, dropping her bag on the floor and sitting tiredly next to Jack. "I got an email from Rudy earlier," she says quietly. Ava leans against Jack, fast asleep.

"About what?"

"He said the dojo's closing." She watches him, assuming he doesn't know.

"Oh, yeah. He told us yesterday."

"I know it means a lot to you." She looks so worried like Jack is going to fall apart and cry. Instead he shrugs.

"Since when has that mattered?" He stands and tries to escape the conversation. "I'm gonna finish my math homework."

"Meds first." Jack rolls his eyes. "Where is your bracelet?" she demands suddenly, noticing his bare wrist.

"Uh… I don't know." He can't remember if he put it on that morning or not, but then he spots it on the kitchen counter. "I guess I left it here. Oops."

"Jack-"

"I know, sorry." He really doesn't want to hear her lecture how important it is that he wears it blah blah blah. He puts it on and takes his medication, hoping that will keep her from complaining more.

"How was your day?" she asks right before Jack can leave.

"Shitty."

"Jack, I'm just trying to talk to you," she says crossly. "Why was it so bad?"

"I don't know. A crappy headache and I was really anxious all day, and then Kim and I argued."

"Did you have any?"

No, but I'm sure there will be plenty tomorrow," he says sardonically.

"Really? Well, that will be a fun experience," she matches his tone, and then kicks her feet up with a sigh. "I'm going to be up all night grading."

"There's a simple solution called 'not assigning homework,'" Jack says.

"Tell that to the Board of Education. I wish we didn't have to test students, but alas!" she exclaims dramatically.

Jack laughs. "You should have become a drama teacher."

"Yeah? I wouldn't have met your father then, and _poof!_ You wouldn't exist."

"I think that even if you majored in something else, you still would have been at the laundromat."

"A fair point," she admits.

"There aren't any essays in theater, either."

"What do you know about theater?" she asks, looking at him suspiciously.

"Not much, I suppose."

"Exactly! I'm sure there's _something_ you'd have to write a thesis for."

Jack holds up his hands, yielding. "Yeah, sure, but now you've really distracted me, and I should be finishing trig."

"I'm a horrible mother, aren't I?" she says sarcastically as Jack ducks into his room.

* * *

 **Please, please, please, please be patient with me.**

 **I'm about to leave for the airport, and I will be gone for a month without wifi.**

 **:'(**

 **Hopefully, I'll get a SIM card when I leave Ireland and can use my phone. The next chapter is all ready to go, so as soon as I get my phone back, I promise I'll update.**

 **That should be around July 4-15.**

 **I hope to read reviews!**

 **再见!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I didn't proofread this...**

* * *

Jack wakes up and rolls his shoulders, stretches his back. His muscles are stiff and aching and his head feels like it's contorting. He groans and flops back, burying his face in his pillows. As he slowly begins to wake up, he realizes that his right cheek hurts. And his tongue. His legs are shaky and sore as he stumbles into the bathroom. Jack stares at the mirror, making sure this bite mark is also invisible. He doesn't really look at his reflection; this is so routine, he knows there isn't a mark, and had his hand on the doorknob when he stops and looks back.

A dark bruise spreads from his left cheek and stops just under his eye, a blue and purple dusting. The skin is swollen and tender as if someone had delivered a swift spinning reverse hooking kick while he slept.

"...Mom?" he calls as he breaks away from the mirror and pads down the hallway into the kitchen.

"Sorry, it's just me this morning," Stephen says, sitting at the kitchen table with Ava. "You need something?"

Jack's fingers brush the edges of the bruise. "Wh...what happened?"

"You had a seizure last night. Fell and hit your head on the bedside table." Stephen slides his chair back and puts the dishes away.

"But I don't usually fall," Jack says, trying to put two disjunct pieces together.

"You don't usually convulse, either. It was worse than usual."

"That can't be right."

"I'm sure it's not a big deal. Losing the dojo just stressed you out more than usual and triggered it. Libby said you could stay home today."

"No, I have a trig test," Jack murmurs distractedly as he reads the clock. "I'm gonna be late again." He tosses a piece of bread in the toaster, and changes into normal clothes, making sure he puts his bracelet on this time.

"You can't possibly feel well enough to take a test-"

"I feel fine," he lies. If Jack stops his life every time he doesn't feel well, he wouldn't get anything accomplished. A headache and sore muscles aren't new.

Stephen sighs. "Okay, but you're not skateboarding. I'll drive you, and it also gives you more time to get ready." Jack doesn't argue as he gulps down his toast and meds. He's not sure his body can stand skateboarding anyway.

 **...**

"Call me if anything happen, and no karate after school-"

"Yeah, I'll see you later," Jack says, closing the car door. Sometimes Stephen can be more suffocating than his own mother. He can still feel his stepfather's anxious gaze as he walks into the school. As soon as his feet hit the tile, the bell rings, and Jack has five minutes to get into history before he's marked as late.

He manages to secure a seat across from Kim. She smiles pleasantly, though it quickly fades as soon as she sees his bruise. "What happened?" she demands in a whisper.

Jack rakes a hand through his hair. "Uh, just… skateboarding," he says lamely. He hides his face, digging through his backpack for a pencil, and when he looks back up, she's still staring at him.

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not," he defends.

"Right. We're gonna have this conversation at the dojo later."

"Oh, yeah, I can't go today."

"What?! But there are only so many left. You can't skip," she protests.

"My parents don't want me to go," Jack says with a shrug.

Kim opens her mouth to keep arguing, but the teacher cuts her off. She gives him a pointed look, " _T_ _his isn't finished."_

Kim watches him suspiciously throughout class, and Jack does his best to ignore her, but he becomes hyper aware of all his actions, wondering what the little movements tell her. Out of nowhere, dread surges through him and pummels through his body. His hands shake, and he has a hard time sitting still. _Something bad is going to happen_.

That's not true, but he can't shake the terrible feeling that restricts his lungs. He knows it's just an aura, but that doesn't do anything to stop the neurotransmitters in his head. His eyes fall on Kim, and he gives a weak smile in the hope that she wouldn't suspect anything. It doesn't work; she sees his pale face, but can't ask him anything without drawing their teacher's attention. Instead, she makes a face, motioning how bored she is, and Jack relaxes slightly and makes a face at her. They go back and forth, trying to beat each other by making an even more ridiculous face. Unable to contain himself, Jack tries to suppress a laugh by coughing.

"Mr. Brewer, would you care to explain the importance of the Great Terror?" their teacher calls out.

"Isn't that, like, a ride at Disney?" Jack asks, fully aware that it's wrong, but oblivious to the right answer. The class snickers, and even the teacher can't hold back their laugh.

"Pay attention," they reprimand. Jack gives them an apologetic smile and shrinks in his seat.

Not long after class resumes, Jack's phone starts buzzing loudly. He jumps to silence it, rolling his eyes as he reads his mom's text. _Yes, he had his bracelet today._ He double checks that the teacher is turned away and hastily messages her back. He silences his phone, and puts it back on the table, momentarily focusing on the lesson before the screen lights up again.

When Kim looks back over at Jack, he's staring at him phone, slack jawed and slouching. Class is dismissed but, he doesn't move. Wondering what has captivated his attention, Kim cranes her neck to see what's on his phone, but… the screen is black. After not being used, the phone had powered off, and Jack continues to stare at it. What is he doing?

 _1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711_

"Jack," she says firmly. He blinks a few times and rubs his eyes. He takes a deep breath, feeling winded, and his eyes droop from fatigue. "What is going on with you?" she urges. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair again, still not talking. He takes his time putting things away and shouldering his backpack. They move into the hallway, on the way to trigonometry. Unfortunately for him, they also share that class, and Jack can't shake her interrogation.

"Nothing's going on," he says as if there wasn't a long gap of silence.

"That's fucking bullshit!" she yells, and several people look over at them. Jack grits his teeth, He doesn't want more attention on himself. He stares straight ahead, at the end of the hallway where there's a mural of their mascot, a whale. "What do you want me to say?" he asks. _Probably the truth, but that's not happening._

"Oh, I don't know," she says sarcastically, "Maybe 'you're right, Kim. I haven't been feeling like myself, and here's _why._ Thanks for asking!'"

Jack scoff. "Right, I'll just pour out all of my secrets in the middle of our trig class." They both take their seats, but class hasn't started yet, and everyone is still talking.

"You don't have to tell me everything. It's just… I know you're not okay, Jack, and I want to help."

He sighs and puts his head in his hands. He takes a deep breath and then looks up, slowly saying, "I don't feel any different." He's being honest this time. He feels exhausted and shitty almost everyday. The only thing that's different is the bruise under his eye. Kim watches him, realizing how tired he looks. Did he always look like this?

"You've been so distant, though," she tries.

Jack shrugs. "I swear there's nothing going on, okay? I'd tell you if there was, you know that." He gives her a trademark smile, that lacks the usual energy and isn't as reassuring as he wishes. Before Kim can make any more arguments however, their test is handed out and they're forced to stop talking.

 **…**

On the way home from school, Jack has to force himself to stay present. His mind wanders, wanting to drift asleep or just stare at nothing. He feels brain dead and can't focus on anything.

"Hey, I should warn you," Stephen begins. "Your mother is not happy that you went to school today, so prepare for her wrath," he says the last part jokingly, but they both know how terrifying Libby can be when she's mad.

"I know, I got a few texts from her this morning, and I considered moving in with our neighbors."

"That would have been a wise decision," Stephen laughs. "She almost had my head when she realized I let you go."

"Sorry."

"Between the two of us, I think she's overreacting, but I can also see where she's coming from. It was pretty scary." He turns the car off, and Jack lingers on each step on the way up to their apartment. He braces himself as he slowly turns the door open, waiting for the flurry of words from his mom. When he doesn't hear anything, he tries to cross the hallway and escape to his room, but she blocks his path. Her arms are crossed as she silently glowers at him, and he knows that somehow this is worse than a lecture.

Slowly and articulately, she says, "You had a _convulsive_ seizure last night and still decided to go to school?!" Jack shifts his weight from one foot to another, choosing not to answer. Exasperated, she drops her hands. "What if you had another one at school?"

"I've literally been at risk of having one at school since I was seven," he defends. "Should I just never go to school then?"

"There's a difference, Jack, between when you are at high risk and when everything is going smoothly. You shouldn't let it control your life, but you need to listen to what your body needs!"

"I did!" he yells back. "I felt fine this morning!" He's seventeen, damn it. He isn't a child who needs to be reminded to eat his vegetables; he knows how much he can take before needing a break.

"Next time… just take the day off, please? It would be much easier." Jack bites his tongue to keep from shouting back. He has to struggle with it everyday; god forbid she have a few stressful days.

"Whatever," he mutters and tries to push past her. The sooner he finishes homework, the sooner he can sleep or watch TV, but she catches his arm.

"How was today? Any more."

"It was great. I only had, like, three… I think." Her hands tightens.

"That's eight in two days," his mom says as Jack looks longingly at his door.

"Yes, even Ava can do basic math."

"Don't start again. I'm worried. You usually have five in a _week_ , not eight in two days. Something's not right."

"It's just a shitty week. I'm fine," he dissents.

"I'm still calling your neurologist."

Jack looks hopelessly to Stephen. She's overreacting, and Jack can't stop her, but maybe his stepfather…

"Sorry, kiddo. I'm with your mom. It sounds like you've built up a tolerance towards your meds." Jack groans loudly and shoves by them. He tosses his backpack on his bed and sits on the floor. He knows he's also being overdramatic, and that they're just using caution, but his mood is like a pendulum that swings back and forth, never knowing what he will feel next. Mood swings are just another side effects of the medication, and luckily it only presented itself around his parents or Rudy, all people who have learned to expect it from him. Occasionally, he will have an outburst with his friends, and it usually leads to a fight. Jack fears that one day it will tear them apart.

As much as Jack wishes he can avoid another appointment, he has to admit that the number of seizures he's had _is_ alarming. He doesn't even know how he's functioning so well; he should be a lump of jello on the couch. There's a day in the future, he hopes, where he doesn't have to fight so hard just to act normal and he won't miss school for hospital visits and he won't be popping pills like breath mints. _Just for one day,_ he thinks, _let me breathe easily and not wonder when I'll fall apart._

 **...**

"Hey, Rudy I was just gonna ap-" Jack stops mid sentence as he steps into Rudy's office on Wednesday. His eyes flicker over the boxes filled with Rudy's clutter, precariously stacked on top of each other. "What's going on?" His voice rises anxiously. "I thought there was a possibility of keeping the place open." Rudy glances up from wrapping precious katana in Bubble Wrap.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't know how to outright tell you that it's closing." He tucks the sword in a box and sighs.

"Is that why you were acting weird yesterday?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah it was," he says, blatantly lying.

"There's more?" Jack asks in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter, don't worry about it," Rudy dismisses.

"No, tell me. What is it?"

Rudy takes a picture frame off the wall, carefully placing it next to his sword. "Bobby… he offered me a new job as a sensei at a new dojo. That's the real reason I'm leaving."

"What? You're giving up on us for- for a new dojo? Did we disappoint you that much? Where even is this new dojo? When did you know about it?'

"When we were preparing for China, he offered it to me, and it's like I said: nothing's come out of this place. At least in Holdrege, I'll have a higher salary doing what I love with top notch fighters. What's not to like about it?" His eyes glow, carried away with excitement.

Jack's too shocked and hurt to say anything as he leans against the door frame. The whole time they were in China, Rudy knew the dojo would disintegrate as soon as they came back. "I'm sorry," Rudy tries but can't meet Jack's eyes. He keeps packing more things away. This can't be happening. There has to be something the Warriors can do to keep Rudy from leaving them.

From leaving him.

Jack should be furious or sad or something, but he doesn't feel anything, completely empty. "I wanted you to win in China so badly," Rudy continues. "I wanted our last tournament to be a victory." Jack squeezes his eyes shut. _Fuck Kai._ The towering boxes make the room feel smaller, and suddenly Jack feels the pressing need to leave. He staggers out of the office and dojo, past his friends who are getting ready for class and watching him worriedly. He needs to be alone, and practically sprints to Phil's.

He doesn't order anything, just sits in a booth, thinking and trying to ignore a new headache. The Warriors wait a bit and then hesitantly sit with him. "So," Milton begins, "what happened?"

Their faces are laced with concern and Jack groans. "Don't look at me like that."

"You can't blame us for being worried. Not after how you left," Kim counters.

"Yeah, but I'm not fragile. I'm not gonna fall apart." They exchange skeptical looks. "Guys, seriously. I'm fine."

"You've been saying that a lot for someone who's been on the edge," Jerry says.

"Did Rudy say anything?" Jack asks. They all shake their heads. "He knew the dojo was closing before we even left for that tournament. He lied to us."

Jerry scoffs. "Was it ever about losing the students?"

"I dunno. He took the job before we lost their tuition, but I think it was them leaving that really sealed its fate. Like, without the money to maintain it, the only thing keeping the dojo running was the fact that there was a sensei."

"Where?" Jerry asks.

"Holdrege."

"That's, like, half a day away from Seaford!" Milton exclaims. Jack nods sorely.

The table falls silent. Jack turns the pepper shaker over in his hands, and beside him Milton traces a crack in the table with his fingers. "All we have to do is find a new sensei and convince some new kids to join," Kim says optimistically. The boys scoff but Kim keeps a straight face and they realize she's being serious.

"And how do you think we'll do that?" Milton asks incredulously. Kim looks at Jack encouragingly. _We'll always have someone keeping the team spirit up._ Well, thank God for Kim because Jack certainly wasn't up to that task right now.

"Jack's good at showing off," Kim explains. "We work well together, so we can figure out a way to get people into karate, and Milton, you're on debate team. You're good at articulating things, and Jerry's somehow a good people person. You guys can find a new sensei and convince him to come to Seaford and teach us. All of our issues are resolved. Boom!" She looks around like she's waiting for applause, but instead is met with their doubtful looks. "Oh, c'mon guys. You have to be willing to try this out if we want to keep Wasabi Warriors in business."

"Would it be the same without Rudy, though?" Jerry wonders.

Milton offers, "At least it wouldn't be Ty this time."

They silently agree with him, and Kim turns toward Jack. "Do you think we could have something put together by Friday? That's when the mall gets the most traffic."

He laughs. "You mean come up with an entire demo in a day? Yeah, we could probably pull something together."

"We could work some now," she suggests, but Jack has a pounding headache that may or may not be the onset of another seizure, and exercising would be like poking a sleeping bear.

"Sorry, I have to watch Ava tonight," he lies. "If you have time, you can just write it up, and I'll learn it, so we can practice tomorrow."

Kim nods. "Sounds like a deal."

"And I'll find some people for Jerry and I to talk to. We'll take a road trip this weekend," Milton offers.

Jack finds himself able to relax as they talk through their plan. He places his hand on the center of the table. "Wasabi?"

They grin, piling their hands on top. "Wasabi!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey, I did some work on what we were talking about yesterday. It's mostly basic yellow belt techniques," Kim explains at lunch the next day. "That way we can get a random kid to break a board and make it look impressive, and then we can do more advanced, eye catching things. I think it'll draw their attention in."

 _What?_ Her comment is completely random, and Jack has no idea what she's talking about. He searches through his memories in a panic, trying to put her words in context. Everyone at the table is waiting for a response, but he doesn't know what to say. His memory is shot from all the medication. It's like having early Alzheimer's. He can feel the clock ticking down, and it makes it harder for him to remember. If he takes any longer to figure out what she's talking about, it'll be too late to add anything; she'll be suspicious, but at the last minute the gears in his mind dust off the cobwebs and spin on their rusty axles. _The demo._

"I dunno, Kimmy. A downward kick might be too hard," he teases. Good, he even came up with something sarcastic.

"I'm sorry. I forgot not everyone was as advanced as me." She flips her hair over her shoulder and smirks.

Jack laughs. "Even Ava could do it, and she's had, like, three classes. Maybe we should have her demo with us for the cute-fuzzy effect."

"That actually wouldn't be bad. Would she want to?"

"Are you kidding me? That kid would do _anything_ to be the center of attention."

"Just like her brother," Kim mutters under her breath. Jack catches her comment.

"It's not _my_ fault that everyone wants a piece of me," he drawls sarcastically.

"Save it for the stage, Brewer," she laughs.

"How _dare_ you limit my ex _pression_?" Kim rolls her eyes and elbows him in the ribs. He laughs and squirms away, antagonizing her further. "Anyway," he continues, dodging away from Kim's next attack and turning towards the other two. "Have you guys found anyone to interview?" Their conversation last night is foggy, but he's sure they mentioned something about finding a new sensei.

"Yeah, there was someone just outside of Seaford," Milton comments.

"We're gonna drive up after school Friday unless you guys need help with the the demo or something," Jerry adds.

Kim pauses from hitting Jack long enough to say, "Nah, we're good." Jack takes advantage of the small break and escapes from her.

He tosses a glance over his shoulder at them before dumping his lunch tray. "I'll see you guys later." Milton waves and Jerry gives a nod goodbye while Kim pretends to squint menacingly like they're enemies. He laughs as he turns away. They're good friends, despite their cluelessness.

His next class moves along quickly and he runs out the doors as soon as the bell sounds. The rest of Seaford High moves slowly through the hallways, dragging their feet on the way to their next class, but Jack has a free block, so he grabs his skateboard and makes his way to the dojo.

Normally, Jack would meet with Rudy, who gave him extra karate classes, but Rudy was too busy making arrangements about his fancy new job. His old students don't matter anymore. It pisses Jack off that Rudy is so engrossed in his new future. He thought Rudy cared more about the Warriors… and, well, about him. In Jack's mind, Rudy has realized the warriors aren't as broken as they used to be. They've been together for a couple years and no longer need Rudy to put their pieces together and mold them into fighters. Now he's gotten bored and wants a new fixer upper. Jack's done such a good job of acting okay, that Rudy doesn't feel bad casting him aside. He _appears_ to be more comfortable in his skin -and to a certain degree, he is- but people assume he has much more confidence than he really does. He has Rudy to thank for that.

When Jack first moved to Seaford, he had been so worried about his illness and what people would think. He was afraid of doing karate again because Kai had beat him so badly, but Rudy gave Jack extra classes and coaching, helping him get over his fear. He had sat there night after night when Jack needed to talk because there were some things his mom wouldn't listen to certain things, and because of Rudy, Jack had grown out of his self conscious shell, and he was better now.

He's done so much for Jack, yet he's packing up and leaving as if he's being set free. Does he not understand how much Jack still needs a friend like him? Or is it _because_ Jack needs him so badly? Is he leaving because he doesn't want to deal with Jack's shit anymore?

By the time Jack arrives at the mall, he's convinced that he's asked too much of Rudy. Maybe he never wanted to listen to Jack's problems, and consequently had realized Jack will never be a good fighter like the ones in Holdrege. _I'll never be good enough. Not with this damned illness._ The thought slithers through his head with all the other snake-like thoughts, but he slams a wall down. He's not in the mood to deal with that right now.

Having printed out Kim's staged demo, Jack runs through it several times and works on committing it to memory. The hardest thing she's written is making him do a beginner pattern. The last time Jack went through that pattern, he was still living in Colorado with both real parents and Ava wasn't even a concept in his mom's head. Fortunately, it's the twenty-first century and a quick Google search reminded him. After learning each section of the demo, Jack starts putting it all together which is where everything falls apart. He knows each move to the demo, and it's really straightforward, but every time he tries to memorize it, the patterns get mixed up or he does the wrong kick. Finally, Jack gives up, and moves on to working with a bo staff. If he's not going to get it right now, there's no point in torturing himself with his useless brain.

"Hey, Jack, we got you an iced coffee," Kim declares loudly as she, Jerry, and Milton arrive. They each drop their school bags on the ground while they finish the food they picked up on the way to the dojo. Jack pauses halfway through a bo staff routine.

"Thanks, but I don't drink coffee-"

"I told you!" Milton exclaims. "I've never seen him with it before and he's _exactly_ the type of person who wouldn't like it."

Jack shoots Kim a confused look. "We didn't know what you would want, so I thought iced coffee was the most universal thing we could buy, and Milton disagreed."

Jerry stands next to them with his arms crossed, smirking. "They made a bet on it, too," he says smugly. Kim closes her eyes as if she's trying to manage her anger. Then she slowly reaches into her bag and pulls a paper bill from her wallet. Milton glows as he reaches to take it, but Kim snatches it back.

"You'll regret this, Krupnick."

Milton only looks slightly terrified as he grabs the bill and quickly backs away from Kim. He shows it to Jack proudly. "Look who just got a two dollar bill, baby!" He gloats. Jack suppresses his laugh. Of course they were fighting over a two dollar bill. Kim gives Milton a withering glare and he spooks, darting off to the locker rooms with Jerry at his heels.

"You guys are so weird," Jack snorts.

"One day that will be worth a lot more than two dollars, Jack! They're out of print, and now that sneaky little redhead is gonna get all of the money that belongs to me."

"Just make another bet and win it back." He turns back to his training.

Kim nods approvingly. "Clever."

"Oh, I was working on our demo earlier, if you want to run through that a few times," he says while doing a 540° turn.

"Yeah, sure. I was also thinking that after class we should do it a few times, and then tomorrow right before."

"Kim, chill. I'm not too worried about this. We're resourceful and smart enough to be able to figure this out on the fly." _Even though I can't freaking remember it._ He gives her an easygoing smile which she returns.

"I know. I'm just worried that if this doesn't work, we'll have no way to save the dojo."

"We learned our lesson from last time; we won't separate again," Jack reassures even though the same thought had haunted him for the last few days.

"Look who's back to being on the positive team," she jokes. Jack suddenly feels hollow and he can feel his smile slipping. It's remarkable how they never hear how empty his words are or see how he doesn't believe what he says.

Rudy bounces out of his office and clasps his hands. "You guys ready to start?" After warming up, he sets Jack and Jerry into their own pair and Kim works with Milton. They start on self defense, and Jerry makes for attacking Jack with a grab. Jack blocks easily, but the room sways suddenly and he can't tell which way is up or down. Jerry pulls Jack's wrists and kicks out his back leg in a takedown. Jack lands with a soft _thud_ on the mats- a much gentler way of getting to the ground than the loud collapse Jack would have had on his own.

Fuck, did this mean he was gonna have another seizure? His stomach churns, and Jack doesn't move, not wanting to fall over. Jerry, realizing that Jack isn't getting up, crouches down and looks at him anxiously. "Jack? Are you okay?"

Jack pushes himself into a sitting position and leans forward, keeping his eyes squeezed tight. If he doesn't get up, they'll realize something's wrong which means they won't want him to leave their sight, and he can't escape to the bathroom to deal with a seizure, and then they'll know. _Get up, get up, get up,_ he's screaming in his head.

The floor sways, and despite his grounded position, Jack thinks he might tip over. With one hand on the floor in front of him, and the other gripping his head, he waits it out. He doesn't have a choice. Slowly, the world rights itself again and the waves of nausea recede. Jack looks up and meets Jerry's worried gaze. He waits an extra minute to be sure he won't come crashing down and then pulls himself up. "I was trying to be careful. I tried not to let your head hit the floor," Jerry worries.

Jack waves a hand. "I think I'm just dehydrated." Rudy pulls his attention away from Kim and Milton who somehow haven't noticed anything happening.

"Why don't you two take a break," Rudy suggests as he watches Jack knowingly. Now Kim and Milton have started watching.

Jack sits on the sidelines, preparing himself for whatever seizure was coming. It usually only takes five or ten minutes after an aura for it to hit, but as the anticipation grows, he can tell it's not going to come. It makes him even more anxious; if it's not while he's sitting here, then when _will_ it be? He taps his fingers against his water bottle, waiting. "I'm gonna show some new techniques," Rudy says. "Are you ready?"

Milton, Kim, and Jerry refocus their attention, but Jack shakes his head. "I'm still feeling out of it. I'll, uh, keep hydrating."

"Maybe you should go home early," Rudy recommends.

"No, I'll be fine." Jack looks at him stubbornly, and Rudy gives him a look, but Jack doesn't budge.

"Suit yourself."

Rudy has them going through basic kicks to get their muscles warmed up, and then demonstrates a complex spinning kick. Kim gets the hang of it quickly, but Milton has a hard time keeping his balance as he rotates. Jerry is able to execute it, although he looks like a circus monkey while he does it.

Kim has her leg at the top of one of the punching bag. She snaps it back as the ball of her foot hits the bag. Jerry and Milton follow her example, kicking at their own bag Suddenly, they've switched from back kicks to hook kicks and it feels like someone copied and pasted them together. He couldn't recall a transition between the two kicks. Had Rudy demonstrated it? When had they rolled out the bags? He's able to adjust quickly right before Rudy starts free sparring. "You guys should work on crescent kicks, too," Jack says. "It helps in self defense."

They exchange confused looks. "We did," Milton points out. "After the turning kicks."

Jack doesn't miss a beat. "Oh, right," he lies. He glances at the clock and is surprised that there's only fifteen minutes of class; he must have had a long recovery time. He fidgets with his water bottle, and waits for them to finish.

Rudy dismisses them from class and retires back to his office. "Hey Jack, you want to run through the demo a few times?" Kim asks. Jack nods and takes his place on the mats.

It takes a while to run through the first time. They keep stopping to make notes, but by the third time, it's all blocked out. Jack, however, has a hard time remembering what they've changed and what it was changed _to_. He goes to the wrong spots and does the wrong technique or crashes into Kim because she's supposed to go to the right, not him. Kim gets frustrated with him, and Jack, in turn, gets annoyed at her impatience. "You're supposed to do a _knife hand_ , Jack! Jesus Christ," she fumes.

"Sorry."

"And then I wrap it all up with a nice conclusion and _you_ …"

"Do a downward kick?" He asks meekly.

"No! A break with the fore fist. Use your fucking head, Brewer."

"Can we just stop for a minute?! I _know_ you want this to go well, but you don't have to be such a bitch!"

 _"Excuse me?_ At least I'm not such an idiot! We went over this multiple times, and you _still_ can't do it!"

"Yeah? Well it's not my fucking fault I have memory problems!"

Silence.

 _Fuck fuck fuck. What did you just tell her?_ "Take a break, and I'll figure it out," he mutters. He tries to suggest it nicely, but it still sounds aggressive. He ignores Kim's shocked face and shoves past her to the locker rooms. He can't move. Why did he say that? What was he thinking? What was _Kim_ thinking? He can't breathe. She must know now. He ruined it- No, she'll just think he has a bad memory. End of story. He won't let her think anything else.

When he finally has himself under control again, he goes back into the dojo. Kim is sitting against some mats and scrolls through her phone.

"Maybe we should call it a night," she says kindly, looking up. Jack feels ashamed of his outburst, like he's a child throwing a tantrum.

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Need a ride?" she asks with a sigh, not looking at him.

"I always need a ride," he mutters.

She rolls her eyes as if she's sick of dealing with his shit, but lets him get in the car, nonetheless.

 **…**

The radio is playing loudly, pounding in Jack's head, but he doesn't want to say anything. It drowns out the awkward silence, and he's sure Kim would complain if he turned it down; she likes this song. The song switches to something else, and Kim loses interest in damaging their hearing. She dials back the volume. "Hey, I uh… I wanted to ask you something," she says nervously. Jack doesn't say anything and waits for her to continue. "Um… what did you mean by… by 'memory problems?'"

 _Fuck_.

He picks at the dead skin on his thumb as he stares fiercely at his lap. His mind is a blank white sheet, running dry of any lies he could say. Kim glances at him.

"Do you just not like memorizing things or is there… I don't know. A learning disability?" His finger starts to bleed, and he watches as the blood forms a crimson dome. He still doesn't respond. He doesn't even know how to explain the truth. "Jack, whatever it is, it won't change how I see you. I just want to understand what's going on." She tries to ease the tension by promising to stay friends and blah blah blah. That's bullshit and he knows it. They're friendship would be over by the time he leaves the car. He bounces his leg up and down, won't meet her eyes, wishes she would drive faster. How does he explain to her that it's not "going on"? If it was "going on" there would be an end to itt, but there's no cure, and the only way out of this situation is if he admits something.

"Yeah, I guess you could say it was a learning disability. Sure."

He can't look at her now. He doesn't want to know if she's freaked out, disappointed or pitying him. She pulls in front of his building, and he jumps out before the car has even stopped moving. "Jack, wait-" she tries, but he slams the door.

The door to the building swings shut as Jack hurries to the staircase. Not paying attention to where he's going he crashes into something solid. "That's the second time this week you've done that," they mutter.

"Sorry," he apologizes and offers her a hand.

"You better be," she mutters as he pulls her up. "You should try walking."

"I'll keep it in mind, thanks," he says, taking the stairs two at a time. A ghost of a smile crosses his lips.

* * *

 **I meant to put this up yesterday, but I didn't have time to proofread it. I was super tired from my trip and was sick and puking- it was bad. But I'm home now!**

 **Things are getting a little more exciting in the story, yeah? Hehe...**

 **Ya'll, I'm gonna stop posting soon, if people don't review.**

 **-Rui**


	6. Chapter 6

**yay filler!**

* * *

A bird is chirping. It's faint, but Jack's sure that's what it is, a bird right outside his window. He can't see very well; the white lighting makes it hard to decipher the shapeless blobs. He tries to shift in his bed, but something tugs at his finger. He pulls harder, and suddenly the bird starts screaming. The loud sound waves pulse through his head, and he wants it to stop. He twists away, but the bird lands on his hand. There's some kind of pressure on the tip of his finger before the chirping fades back to a steady beat, and Jack falls asleep again.

 **…**

Jack's limbs feel heavy as he starts to wake up. There's a cold draft blowing against his face, and it makes him shiver.

That's not right. He lives in an old apartment; they don't have central AC. He tries to sit up and flinches when an alarm goes off.

"We're gonna have to tape this to your hand," someone mutters under their breath as they push the oximeter onto his finger. The alarm silences. He follows the voice with his eyes and finds his mom sitting next to the bed. Her hair is dark from not being washed and slipping out of its ponytail. Her eyes are ringed with dark shadows from not sleeping. "Morning, sunshine," she says.

Jack stares at the blue bracelet hanging around his wrist, trying to form a question, but he's so tired. "You had a seizure Thursday night." She pauses and rubs the back of his hand and tips her head slightly to look at him. "It lasted twelve minutes, Jack. I freaked and called 911, and it's a good thing I did because you had several more throughout the night."

No wonder Jack felt like he had been trampled by a herd of elephants. "What day is it?" he asks hoarsely.

"Saturday."

He's been out for an _entire_ day? He knows that should concern him more, but he's drained of energy, and he already had a damn headache. He follows the cord from the oximeter on his finger to the monitor and watches the numbers change. "They're gonna come in soon and get you glued down for an EEG," his mom says tiredly. He rolls his head and looks at her.

"No," he protests. "It's already Saturday. I don't wanna stay here for another century."

His mom smiles sadly. "And I don't want to pay thousands more dollars, but clearly we need to figure out what's going on and fix your medication." He makes a sound in the back of his throat, but doesn't protest any farther, knowing she's right. As much as he hates the stupid tests, it isn't nearly as bad as suffering through clusters of seizures everyday. "Hey, on the bright side, you've had, like, four a day, so you might be done early."

"There's magic air here," Jack says bitterly. "It prevents seizures."

"I'll bring a lot of board games, then.

A nurse comes in and takes his blood pressure and explains what's going to happen with the EEG. Jack has to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. This ïsn't the first time he's been through this test; he knows it's hell. He's moved to a different room, and they offer him a wheelchair despite his protest to walk. If Jack's stuck being tested for the next several days, he might as well get as much exercise as possible.

He's handed a mask to keep out the horrible smell of EEG glue as the doctor takes a small metal disc attached to a wire. He covers it in the awful glue and plasters it on Jack's head. A small vacuum roars loudly in his ear as it dries the glue quickly, and he takes another and another, until there's a myriad of them scattered all over. It takes an agonizing forty-five minutes for the doctor to glue and dry them down, and another five for him to wrap it tightly so that Jack feels like his head might crack under the pressure. They get him set up with an IV line and then it's just him and his mom.

"This is going to be a fun time," she says sarcastically.

"I'm already bored," Jack groans.

"Sorry, I don't have anything interesting with me, but now that you're all set, I'll run home and grab some games and books, and more comfortable clothes. Even better, you can do all the school work you're going to miss!"

"Oh, boy! That sure sounds like fun!"

She laughs. "I'll be back in the afternoon, and they said you could use your phone, so text me if you think of anything else you want me to bring."

Jack nods and looks out the window over the ocean. At least Seaford Memorial had a good location. His mom squeezes his hand goodbye, and then it's just Jack's breathing and the loud monitors. He turns to his side and falls into a restless sleep.

 **...**

When he wakes up, his mom is sitting at a small table beside his bed. Her glasses are sliding down her nose, and her hair is tied back. She looks like a librarian if you ignore her sweatpants and old, baggy tshirt. Glancing up from her pile of grading, she tosses his backpack over. "If you get really bored, you could read a thesis or two. Or ten," she offers, gesturing to the stack of papers.

"I think I'll pass for now. I'm also not sure how fair it would be to have a high schooler grade college papers. Maybe if I was Milton."

"They wouldn't care. They'd be psyched to get a better grade."

"Nonetheless, I still do not want to read them." He rummages through his backpack to find something interesting and settles on a deck of cards. He shuffles them and starts a game of solitaire.

His body is still full of the medication that they've been treating him with since Thursday, so Jack wastes the day painstakingly waiting for it to metabolize, and hopefully once the medication has worn off, he'll have a seizure.

After a dinner of cold pasta and wilted broccoli, Jack happily changes out of the stupid johnny and into an old pair of karate pants with a button down shirt. He doles out another seven games of solitaire- he's already played twenty three- before he tucks the cards back into the pack. His mom is still sitting quietly at the table, a styrofoam cup is next to her slowly diminishing stack of paper. With nothing better to do, Jack watches her grade. She bites the end of her red pen while she reads the essays and then sighs when she marks something wrong. She doesn't look like someone who would read a textbook for fun, having a more outdoorsy appearance. She's a physics professor at Seaford University despite having a degree in chemistry, and that means whenever Jack is behind on school- which happens a lot- she helps him catch up on his sciences.

His mom laughs at something the student wrote while she draws a long, red line through. She looks up at Jack, shaking her head. "It's always so obvious who shows up to the lecture and who doesn't. When you're in college, Jack, _show up to your class."_

"Duly noted," he says. "Since when do you have this much work?" He was used to her spending an evening hunched over her grading, but she had been plowing through a huge stack all day.

"I missed yesterday 'cause I was here, and now I am trying to get through a whole day's work. I haven't even started my notes for Monday," she sighs, running a hand through her hair. The bags under her eyes look even darker.

"You could just go home and work. I'll be fine." He doesn't necessarily want to be left alone, hospital rooms can get lonely, but he feels guilty for messing up her schedule.

"I was actually pretty productive today without Ava around." She looks at her phone for the time. "Actually, I should get going, and you should try to sleep."

Jack gazes out the window where the sun has started to set. "Try is the key word," he mutters.

"Hey, at least the more sleep deprived you are, the more likely you are to trigger a seizure."

"Yippee."

She smiles and plants a kiss on his forehead where there aren't any bandages. "I'll see you tomorrow."

 **...**

Whoever said counting sheep helps to fall asleep was a liar. Jack's counted up to sheep number 594 by the time he dozes off, but then there's a commotion in the hallway and he wakes with a start. Then he counts up to 1463, and still can't sleep.

Jack gives up on sleeping and allows his mind to drift off to dark corners, and he makes a point to focus on the steady rhythm of beeps to keep from falling apart. He's miserable enough, no point in rubbing salt in the wound. He tosses and turns to the best of his ability, but being attached to so many wires makes it impossible to find any position that's comfortable. Somewhere between two and three in the morning he falls asleep again and doesn't wake until the sun breaks the horizon.

The sun rises at 6:30 and Jack watches as the light reflects off the waves of the ocean. There are a few people on the beach this early. Their bodies are so minute that it's hard to even tell they're people. A couple sailboats dot the water. It's too early to start another marathon of card games, so he hesitantly turns on his phone. He's avoided talking to his friends, and now he's afraid to see what they think happened to him.

And then a horrifying feeling comes over him. It's so intense that Jack has his finger hovering over the button to mark the time in the test before he realizes it's not actually an aura. He white knuckles his phone as the feeling progresses from a sudden realization to panic. The demo. He had totally blown Kim off, and she's probably pissed. _Fuckfuck shit fuck._ He presses the home button on his phone and cringes seeing all of the texts from her.

The first few are anxious texts wondering where he was, when he would get there. They continue into angry sentences that demand to know why he never showed up. The last few are from Saturday, and are more worrying because he never responded. He tries to text them back, but every response sounds wrong, so he finally decides to delete it and sends Rudy a quick message:

 _I'm in the hospital. Tell the guys that I'm fine._

It was easier than messaging them all one by one and trying to convince them he was fine. And Rudy would know not to tell them the truth, so he could go with whatever lie he told them. Jack's text had been sent with brevity, but he's surprised to see Rudy's curt reply.

 _Ok._

The last time Jack was stuck at home or in the hospital, Rudy had been full of life, trying to keep Jack's spirits up, and now he doesn't seem to care. He has a lot going on, too, Jack tries to reason, but it doesn't take long to send a nice text. Whatever friendship Jack had with his sensei was disintegrating, and for what? Because he has some new job? Because Jack isn't worth sticking around for? _Not good enough not good enoughnotgoodenough._ He tries desperately to shove the thought back. It's too early for his mental health to deteriorate, but as soon as he's able to get that idea out of his mind, another one takes its place. Instead of feeling sorry for himself, however, it annoys him to the point that he wishes he could get out of this damn bed. He presses a tight fist against his lips, trying to breathe properly. _Get yourself together_. For a fleeting moment, he thinks that this might actually be the time he goes crazy from being stuck in this place, and then the all-too-familiar feeling of anxiety and dread set in. Triggered by his stress and exhaustion, his heart rate quickens, and he watches in frustration as the lines spike on the monitors; the beeping increases. A pair of nurses rush in the room, expecting him to be seizing. He shies away from them, feeling like a caged animal that's being poked at the zoo.

This time it takes less time for the seizure to hit after the aura.

 **...**

His head slowly clears even as his brain refuses to process his surroundings. In the moment, he's aware of what's going on, but can't remember what happened half an hour ago. He's feeling pretty shitty and tired and hungry, but also nauseous. It makes him want to curl up and find a place between being alive and dead. To just stop existing.

He feels so stupid for believing his health had been improving. The seizures had been reduced to only a handful a week- he had been so excited. Progress was finally being made for the first time in several years, but it's too good to be true, and now he's back at square one. These tests were fucking pointless, in his opinion. The doctors would shrug, looking at the results like always, and send him to "specialist" who would have no idea what to do, so that he would be prescribed some "amazing" drug that wouldn't do shit. Jack's only seventeen and still has the majority of his life to navigate through. He's tired of not finding a way to control his seizures, and there are several decades that he'll have to drag himself through. Fucking chronic illness.

He's too busy wallowing in his misery to pay attention to the door opening, and he nearly jumps out of his skin when someone loudly yells, "Hey, neighbor!" A girl stands at the foot of his bed, wearing a red and white striped dress like Kim's. For a horrifying moment, Jack believes that it _is_ Kim, and she had finally found him at the hospital, caught in his web of lies, but it's just Ayla. Just Ayla.

It's a bit reversed: his best friends have no idea about his disorder, but Ayla, whom Jack hardly has any relationship with, knows all about it. Jack's mom was always reluctant to leave him home alone, God forbid he had a seizure, and had talked to their neighbors about what to do if something ever happened. Mr. Wei being a doctor had calmed Jack's mom's nerves to a degree, but of course, the one time he had a seizure, Mr. Wei wasn't home, and Ayla had been there. She's nice, but they don't have much in common besides their address. Because they weren't friends, Jack thought she would tell people about him, and they created an unspoken agreement. She pretends she never saw Jack having a seizure, and Jack pretends he never saw her making out with a girl.

She sniggers at his deer-in-the-headlights look. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I wasn't paying attention," he dismisses. "I didn't know you volunteered here."

"Colleges like to see charity," she says with forced cheerfullness.

"Okay, well, you didn't strike me as the kind of person to want to work here."

"God, no. Being a doctor is gross, but it was the easiest to arrange since Dad works here." She sets a tray of perfectly cubed fruit and yogurt. "And don't worry. Kim's not working today. Not many people volunteer on Sunday's."

Jack shrugs. "Yeah, but I'm not leaving until Tuesday. She usually comes after karate, but hopefully she doesn't find this room tomorrow."

"I could try keeping her from here," Ayla offers. Jack shrugs.

"Telling Kim to avoid a room is the best way to make sure she finds it."

"I wouldn't be _that_ obvious. I'm good at being stealthy," she says with a wink. "It's up to you, though."

"If you really think you could pull it off, I'd appreciate it."

"I'll just keep her busy on other floors. It'll be fine." She gives him a warm smile that falters when she places a plastic spoon next to the yogurt. "Enjoy your gourmet hospital food," she smirks.

 **...**

Soon after Ayla leaves and Jack's picked through his breakfast, his sister comes bounding in, glowing with energy. She clutches her _Disney_ coloring book in one hand and a tin box of crayons in the other as she jumps up on the bed. Ava climbs into his lap and presses her face close to his. They're still working on personal space. She gives him a gaping grin. "Hi, Jackie," she say breathes.

Jack leans away. "Hey, monkey."

"I brought you this." She holds the coloring book and Jack moves to take it, but then she snatches it away. "You can't color in Donald Duck, okay? You have to save it for _me_." Ava emphasizes awkward syllables. He holds out his pinky.

"I promise I won't." She giggles and hooks her finger around his. Their mom takes her usual seat next to the window at the table. She looks better than yesterday, having showered and slept. Jack's envious of her.

"You look like a mummy," Ava cooes as she picks at the wrap around his head. She laughs and looks to their mom who gives Ava a disapproving look. Ava huffs and collapses in Jack's lap. "Can we play a game?"

He grabs the cards and deals them out for a game of War. "Heard you had a seizure this morning," his mom says. _Why why why did they have to talk about it?_ _It had already happened._ "Maybe you can leave early."

"Don't get my hopes up," he says jokingly in an empty voice.

"It'll be over before you know it," she chirps. Jack doesn't say anything as he slaps a card down next to Ava's. Considering the three hours this morning have slowly crawled along, he's skeptical the next forty-eight would pass any faster.

* * *

 **哎呀!**

 **-** **蕊**


	7. Chapter 7

Jack stares straight ahead at the empty white wall. The monitors keep beeping, and he's tempted to knock them over. He can't bear to listen to them any longer. He looks around the room, trying to find something he hasn't noticed yet. There are 12 ceiling tiles plus the awkwardly shaped ones, three suspicious stains on his blanket, and 20 rings hanging the curtain between the two private parts of the room, though the eighth one is broken. He doesn't know if there's someone on the other side of the curtain; he's not allowed to leave his bed without someone, and he hasn't heard anything, but maybe that's because the only thing he can hear is the constant _beep beep beep._

He turns to his phone, scrolling through Instagram and twitter, careful not to like any posts, so no one knows he's on. His friends are still sending him messages, and while Jack appreciates the posts and jokes they share, he can't bring himself to respond with anything.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

And then he sees his mom's tablet poking out of his backpack. It's loaded with things to entertain Ava which means Netflix. He awkwardly stretches over and pulls it out. The wifi is slow, but Jack's not in any rush as he waits for the show to buffer.

He starts watching a comedy, and then, three episodes in, he realizes he can't move. Great. His second seizure. For once he almost wishes it's one of the worse seizures where's he's unconscious. It would help speed time up. Apparently his brainwaves are still really messed up during these seizures because a couple of nurses come in, and they can't leave until Jack's recovered which takes almost ten minutes. They keep putting their face in his asking, "Can you move your fingers?" _Obviously not,_ he wants to say. _I'm having a goddamn seizure. Don't you know my symptoms?_ When they finally leave, Jack starts his show again. There's still at least five hours until Ayla will be here.

Jack tries to sleep after lunch, and he manages to doze off for a little bit. When he wakes up, it's 3:45 which means Ayla should be here, but she must be busy with other patients because she doesn't visit Jack until almost dinner.

"Oh, my god," Jack says sarcastically. "Another human. I was beginning to think I was the last human alive."

"You've been alone all day?"

Jack nods. "I am _suffering."_

"You should be glad you weren't in school today. We had to do oral presentations in French class." She shudders. "Lucky you missed it."

"I'll have to make it up anyway. She's the most unforgiving teacher."

"Yeah, true. Anyway, I just came in here to make sure you were alive, and to give you this," she says, tossing him a pudding cup. "I have a busy schedule today, so I can't hang around, and Kim will be coming soon. I need to keep her away, right?"

Jack groans. "I forgot about that."

"Just leave it to me," she says with a wink.

Jack laughs. "What are you gonna do? Seduce her? She's not gay."

Ayla gives him a blank stare. "That wasn't supposed to be suggestive! God. And you don't know for sure she's not."

"Aw, do you have a crush?" Jack teases.

"No, not on her," Ayla defends.

He gasps. "You do like someone! Does she go to our school? Do I know her?"

"I have a job to do," she says, matter-of-factly. Her cheeks are turning red, and she ducks behind the curtain on the other side.

"Nonono! Wait! Who is it?"

"Bye, Jack," she calls.

"Ayla!"

He huffs and throws himself back against the pillows. Well, that was a fun two minutes. He starts watching TV again, already four episodes into season two of Sirens. That's seven hours of Netflix, he realizes with a grimace. It's not like he can do anything else. He hears the door open again and he suddenly gets extremely paranoid. What if it's Kim? The person walks to his side of the room- Jack's pretty convinced he isn't sharing the room with someone- and something is thrown in his face.

"I got you a teddy bear." Kai stands at the foot of his bed. "I can't _stand_ to see you like this." He dramatically wipes away a tear.

"Fuck off. Just say you were here and go." Jack glares at him. He's not surprised that Kai here. Every time Jack's stuck in the hospital, his aunt makes Kai visit, and while Jack knows she's trying to do the right thing, he doesn't want to sit around with his cousin.

"Aw, c'mon," Kai says, pretending to be hurt. There's a period of silence and then Kai drops the act. "I have to be here for twenty minutes, and if you're just gonna ignore me, it's gonna be real awkward and boring-"

"Do you think I give two shits if you're bored? It's been four _days_ , you can suffer through twenty minutes."

"Someone's in a bad mood…"

"Yeah, I am in a bad mood. You know why? I've spent almost a _week_ doing nothing because of you and you're whining about twenty minutes!"

"I didn't do anything-"

"You _ruined_ my fucking life, Kai!" Jack shouts. His cousin makes a sound in the back of his throat.

"I can't change what happened. I don't know what you want from me."

Jack grinds his teeth, trying to keep his temper and heart rate down. "I want you to feel guilty about what happened. I want you to feel sorry. I want you to know how badly you fucked up."

"I _do_ know! Jack, do you have any idea how terrifying it was to see you after-"

"I don't care about that, Kai!" His voice starts to rise again. "I don't want to hear how scared you were! Everyone thought _you_ were too young to deal with any consequences, but somehow, at the _same age_ , I was old enough to have permanent brain damage. You're twenty minutes of sitting here? That's so fucking small compared to me dealing with this shit everyday. Do you realize you handicapped me for the rest of my _life?_ If you're going to argue with me, then leave. You don't get to dictate how I feel about what happened."

Kai sighs loudly. "Fine. I didn't want to come anyway." He turns to leave and pauses. "You know what? I know you'll hate me for the rest of your life, but we were _seven_. Neither of us knew what was going to happen, and I didn't do it on purpose."

Jack looks away. He knows it's unfair to blame everything on Kai; they were both on the cliff that day, and they both decided to play tag up there. Kai had been it and tagged Jack too hard. It could have easily been the other way around.

With his arms crossed, Kai continues, "I've pulled some shit on you, I'll admit that, but I'm not a psychopath."

"No, you're a sociopath-"

"Jack! I am _trying_ to apologize, okay? That's what you want, isn't it? I do feel guilty -just look at what happened in China!"

"In China, you jumped me because you were afraid to fight me!"

"No, I jumped you because you were gonna be disqualified anyway, and I knew people would have more _respect_ if it was because someone attacked you." Jack narrows his eyes. What is he talking about, 'disqualified anyway'? "Your sensei lied about your medical history. The Board found out, and they were going to disqualify you. I gave you the more _honorable_ way out instead of letting them shame your ratty dojo in front the most prestigious academies."

Jack shrinks in his bed. He always assumes the worst of Kai. He doesn't know what to say.

"Are we good?" Kai asks, annoyed.

"Yeah," he relents. "We're good."

Jack loses interest in the tablet, turning the conversation over in his head. Did they really just end nine years of fighting?

 **…**

Something happened. There are two nurses standing by his bed, one in blue scrubs and the other in green. The blue one shines a light in his eyes. Jack squints and follows it as the she moves it back and forth.

"Do you know where you are?" Green asks.

"Hospital," Jack mumbles.

"Do you know why?"

He touches the bandage on his head. "Testing."

"And what's your mom's name?"

"Elizabeth."

The green nurse nods his head thoughtfully. "Do you know what happened?"

"No."

"You had a seizure," Blue says. _Yeah, thanks_ , he thinks. _Figured that much out._

"How do you feel?" she asks.

"Fine."

"Okay, well if you need anything, you know what button to push," Green says. Jack nods and they leave. He winces, reaching for his phone and earbuds. He starts his his music and pulls the blanket up. His muscles are aching and week. His head pounds, and he wants to sleep, but he doesn't let himself. He has to wait until it's later or else he'll never get through the night. He allows himself to drift in and out as he listens to the music playing softly.

"Hey."

His eyes are glazed over and staring at nothing. He blinks a few times, adjusting to reality again and pulls out his earbuds. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Ayla says, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Jack snorts. "As if I was actually sleeping." Rubbing his eyes he says, "I swear, if I'm awake all night again..."

"Chin up, you get to leave tomorrow!"

"Not soon enough," he grumbles.

"Heard you had a seizure." She hugs her elbow across her body.

"Yeah, I heard that too," he says with a smile, but Ayla doesn't say anything. "That was a joke. Y'know? 'Cause I couldn't remember and they had to tell me. Get it?" She gives him a tight lipped smile and Jack sighs. "Okay, out with it." He props himself and stares at her.

"What do you mean?" Her voice rises.

"Ayla, I know you're keeping something from me. What? Were you gonna tell me who you like?" He teases.

"No, it doesn't matter." She says, looking at her hands. Jack stares her down, and she fidgets awkwardly. "You look tired. You should sleep." She stands up and slings her bag on her back.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it."

Jack frowns as he watches her leave and then finally gives into sleep.

 **…**

Jack collapses on his bed when he finally gets home Tuesday afternoon. His mind is a whirl of words from talking with his doctor this morning. He can't remember what was discussed, just that he has a new cocktail of medication to take, though he doubts it will help.

Jack doesn't know why, but it's much nicer doing nothing at home than when stuck in a hospital. The most productive thing he does is take a shower -which is long overdue.

After a night of _real_ sleep, Jack begins to dig through his stack of homework. It's one of the rare days where he is truly home alone, but after spending the last several days mostly isolated in the hospital, it's hard to appreciate it, and he just feels lonely. At least he's not constrained to a hospital bed with a suffocating bandage around his skull; he can roam freely and do whatever he wants.

He makes lunch in the kitchen and his vision suddenly blurs as if his eyes are dilated and he's trying to read small print. He stumbles from the kitchen to the living room, finally falling on the couch, and curls up. He still hasn't adjusted to the medication.

He loses track of time as he lays there. Too tired, too dizzy, too uncoordinated. There's a blanket folded on the back of the couch, and Jack wraps himself up and turns the TV on. Might as well binge some more Netflix, right?

Someone loudly knocks on the door, startling him out of his impromptu nap. His body is like lead as rolls over, so instead of answering the door, he yells, "It's open!" Seaford is a nice enough community and there isn't a lot of traffic outside the building, so the Brewers always leave the door unlocked. Ayla walks in and looks disappointed to see Jack curled up on the couch.

"Oh, sorry," Ayla apologizes.

"About what?" he asks, silencing the TV.

"I thought you would be feeling better now, but I can come back later."

"No, it's fine. What's up?"

She plays with her bracelet, twisting it around and around. "It's about Monday…" Ayla trails off, and Jack has to prompt her to continue. "I said I could keep Kim away from your room -and I did, I swear- but then she saw someone from your family, I guess? I think it was your cousin, or something, and she followed them and she told me that she snuck into the room to see what your cousin was doing and then heard you guys fight and I thought you should know that she knows you were in the hospital. Just be prepared if she says anything. I'm so sorry. I should have told her we didn't need the help, and she would never have come in."

She watches him apprehensively. Maybe the medication is making his brain process this slowly, or maybe it's the shock of finding out his world is crumbling. She heard their fight? What is she thinking now?

"She told me she wouldn't go around saying anything, and made me swear not to say anything, but I thought you should still know. I… I don't know what you guys said, but she was really freaked out. I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's fine. It was bound to happen anyway," he says in an empty voice.

"I feel terrible, though."

"Why? It wasn't your fault. You said she was following Kai, and there's nothing you could have done to stop her unless you followed her around."

"Yeah, I guess… Anyway, Madame gave me your French homework, so I also came here to drop it off." She tosses a packet on the kitchen table. "Do you… need anything?" she asks as she looks him up and down. Jack draws the blanket around his shoulder tighter.

Not having moved in the past few hours, he's craving a glass of water, but he feels awkward asking her. It's his house; he should be able to get things himself. "No, I'm fine." He groans. "I'm so sick of lying around all day."

Ayla gives a relieved small laugh. "Then get up. You're not stuck in the hospital anymore."

"Alas," he sighs, "I am only on day two of switching meds and my body is not happy about it."

"What…?"

He swings his legs around so he's sitting upright, white knuckling the arm of the sofa to fight his vertigo. "I'm not used to the new treatment, so the side effects are particularly nasty for an unknown amount of time." He gives her a fake smile.

"Does that mean you'll be missing more school? 'Cause I'm fine with you copying answers for these past few classes, but you're not gonna be learning anything."

"God, I hope not. I was hoping to go tomorrow. Although it appears I can't stay awake for longer… very long," he breaks off, balling his hands and rubbing at his eyes. It's getting hard to concentrate.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?"

"Just sleep," Jack mumbles, letting his head fall back.

"I'll leave you to it then." She shoulders her backpack, and she's gone, leaving Jack alone in a silent room again.

* * *

 **Um. Wow. So I got a lot of reviews this past week, and I am overjoyed. Thank you so much, guys. I love hearing from everyone, and I hope I hear again from each and every one of you.** **谢谢!**

 **-Rui**


	8. Chapter 8

**(Starts the same day as the last chapter)**

* * *

He must have fallen asleep again because he wakes up two hours later listening to Ava scream. If she was screaming because she was hurt, he would understand, but the five year old is just watching a show on Stephen's tablet and thinks screaming is the same thing as singing along. He throws a pillow in her general direction, intending to scare her into shutting up, but it just antagonizes her further. Jack sighs and checks his phone; there's a text from Kim saying they were at Phil's until 7:00 and he should join them. More like, "let me confront you in front of everyone." Jack knows in his gut that he shouldn't go until he talks privately with Kim, but he misses his friends and feels cramped in his house. Coupled with Ava being obnoxious, he's itching to leave.

Jack is dropped off just outside the restaurant, and he grits his teeth. Kim won't call him out - not in front of the guys and certainly not when they're in public. He hopes, anyway.

They're sitting in their usual booth when Jack walks in. The bell over the door chimes sweetly as they fall silent at the table. Jack hovers next to the empty seat, not sure how to act. "Hey, guys," he says.

Jerry leans over and pokes Jack's arm. Turning to Kim and Milton, he announces, "Yup, he's real." Satisfied, Jerry leans back in his seat with his arms crossed. Jack slides in next to Jerry, and watches his friends for any reaction.

"How was Colorado?" Kim asks, in an awkward tone, keeping her eyes on her hands. Jack hesitates. Was she purposely trying to catch him? Or was she trying to help sell the lie to Jerry and Milton?

"It was good. Cold." Rudy must have lied to them.

Milton slaps his hand on the table, making Jack jump. "Cut the crap. We know you weren't in Colorado. Rudy's a terrible liar. Where were you?"

"Milton, literally anything Rudy says sounds like a lie. That's just how he talks," Kim argues, but she still won't look at Jack.

"He was definitely lying," Milton says.

"I agree," Jerry adds. "Where were you, man? If you were in Colorado, you would have had time to text us back."

"I was busy skiing, spending time with family, and stuff," Jack defends.

"You're breaking the Wasabi Code."

Jack's head snaps up to look at Milton. For once, he can't spit out a lie. "You're not being honest," the redhead says.

Jack's frozen in place. He knows he's breaking the code, but to be called out on it -what is he supposed to say to that?

"Milton-"

"It was one thing to not show up Friday after you promised you would. Another to not say anything about it, to not even _apologize_. And now you're just sitting there, ready to lie your way out of it. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but I won't continue being friends with someone I can't trust."

Milton glares at Jack, daring him to defend himself. Jerry and Kim are both silent as if they expected Milton to rant like this, and Jack watches Kim deliberately put the packets of Splenda and regular sugar in order. _Please look at me,_ he thinks. _Let me know that at least_ we're _okay._ She keeps her head down, and Jack finally faces Milton. "You _can_ trust me," he says. "I've never done anything for you to lose trust."

"Then tell us where you really were. Because it sure as hell wasn't Colorado, and I don't want to play a guessing game."

Jack looks away. If he says that he spent the time in the hospital, they would panic and assume he's dying of cancer or someshit, but if he says anything else they'll know he's lying. He should have known they would eventually see through of the lies he's painted. "Milton, I'm sorry. I missed Friday, but you _are_ being over dramatic-"

"No, I'm not!" he yells. Several people turn to see what's happening, and Milton flushes red at the sudden attention before steeling himself and continuing in a quieter voice. "I get it, Jack. You're popular and likeable, so if we lose the dojo and each other, you'll be fine making other friends, but me? I'll have the principle clarinetist and a guy from AV for friends. And they're great, but it's not the same. I'll go back to being bullied by the Dragons, and you'll forget we were ever friends. It's not that big of a deal for you, but I _need_ the dojo to make it through high school."

Jack tries to shrink further into the plastic red seat, trying to disappear. He wants to argue that no, he hasn't always been popular, that he had run from his previous school with his tail tucked between his legs, but that would crack his perfect illusion. He's put too much energy into this facade, and he's not willing to give it up; they'll have to pry the truth out of his cold hands. "You think I want to go back to Randy and all the other stoned skaters? I understand what you're saying, and I really am sorry for missing it. What more do you want me to say? And didn't you get a new sensei? Missing students isn't the end all."

Jerry swirls his straw around in the paper cup. "We found a guy, but we're already low on students, Rudy's been chasing away the few remaining because he keeps saying he's closing, and without the demo to bring the attendance back up, there are, like, ten students left to teach. It was pointless, trying to recruit him." Jerry shakes his head bitterly. "Look, man, no matter how many times you say sorry, it won't change anything. The least you could do was say the truth."

Isn't that what he said to Kai? That there's nothing he can do to take away his epilepsy? Karma's a bitch.

"What's going on, Jack?" Kim asks softly, finally turning her head in his direction.

His chest aches, dying to finally come clean. Maybe he could sleep better if he didn't have to worry what his friends thought about him… but he remembers what it was like to tell his friends in Oregon, the ones who promised they would never leave, the ones that made him hate himself, and suddenly he feels restricted, like there's a vice around his chest. The words are caught in the bottom of his throat, jumbled up, and he can't get them out; he just can't. He swallows hard. "Nothing." His voice shakes and there's heat crawling up his neck. Jack clears his throat and tries again, "I can't… tell you."

Kim sighs and glares outside the window; Milton slumps in his seat and Jerry mutters something in Spanish. Jack winces at their reactions. "Then you can't expect us to want to stick around," Kim argues. "None of us want a friend who only lies."

Jack's eyes sting from embarrassment. He tips his head down and closes his eyes, forcing the emotions back. _I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine I'm fine._

"What are you afraid of?" Milton asks.

 _I don't want to be bullied, I don't want to be second guessed, I don't want to be pitied, I don't want you to think less of me._ The list could go on. "Because I don't want to be seen differently."

"I told you, you'd look the same," Kim says exasperatedly. Jack's leg bounces up and down. Is it just him or was everyone in the restaurant watching them?

Glancing at Jack's behavior, Jerry suggests, "How about we go to the dojo where it's quieter?"

It was getting stuffy in the small restaurant, and Jack leaps out of his seat. He leads the way to the dojo, keeping a distance between him and his friends. Just enough space to think and breathe and find a the right lie. Jack looks at the bright green sign over the entrance. The light is harsh, too vibrant. A fake, cheerful visage for a dojo that's fracturing.

He stands awkward in the middle of the dojo, his hands fumbling with nervous energy. What is he going to say? What will they buy? Nothing. The answer is nothing. Hell, even if he says the truth, they'll be skeptic. "Okay, Jack, you better talk. It's just us," Kim demands.

He needs another minute to think. It's getting hard to breathe again.

"We can't do anything for you if you don't talk," Jerry says.

Maybe it _is_ time he comes clean. Living without having to hide everything… God, it would be so much easier, like unclipping a leash that has him running in circles. He turns to his friends, hopelessly. _Just tell them._ Without the surrounding people, Milton finally snaps. "Just stop being so damn dramatic, okay? Spit it out, for God's sake."

Jack suddenly draws away from them. They'll be disgusted by him if he tells them. Some people can be so selfish when they find out, and he can't ruin this. In his head, he assumes Milton would tell him to just get over his epilepsy, Jerry would think he's lying and Kim would be disturbed, would see him as a burden. No, he refuses to lose all of his friends again. His throat hurts looking at their faces. He can't talk or breathe, like he's having a seizure. _How fucking ironic._ "I can't-" he chokes out. "I'm sorry, I can't." He gasps for a breath. The dojo is hotter than the resturaunt. He needs air. His sight blurs; he can no longer see his friends or hear their voices as he shoves past them.

He's caught up in the memory of Oregon -their voices tease and pull at him, begging him to talk.

" _Oh, c'mon, Jack. We're friends aren't we?"_

" _Just tell us! We won't tell anyone."_

He leans against a post outside, the cool air brushes against his hair. The night is quiet, and there aren't many people outside, thankfully. The farther away he gets, the easier it is to breathe, as bitter tears fall. He swipes them away, but it's pointless. He tumbles to a stop, his chest heaving as a loud, strangled sob releases itself. Boys aren't supposed to cry, so why does he has a breakdown every other week? Is he really that pathetic? He wipes his eyes again and looks around, trying to find his way home until he finally staggers in the door with puffy eyes. He's exhausted and numb and has a splitting headache.

His mom and Ava are on the couch, adding the legs of ants together, and it's just so goddamn _normal_. Why couldn't _he_ be like that? His mind starts slipping again, and he imagines a metal sheet slamming over the path, keeping him present. He wipes his nose on his sleeve as he heads for his bedroom, but his mom jumps up, quickly noticing that something's wrong. She grabs his arm, trying to look at his face, but he keeps his eyes glued to the floor. "Jack, sweetheart, what happened?" He sniffs, shifts his weight, but can't bring himself to talk. He wants to hide from everyone. Even his mom's attention is too much. He's embarrassed at himself for crying as if he's five. "Jack," she tries again to reach him, but he can be so stubborn. She exhales softly, and pulls him into a hug. He buries his face into her shoulder, squeezes his eyes shut, and the last few tears fall onto her sweater. She runs a hand along his back, waiting for him to pull away first. Jack holds onto her fiercely until he's composed himself a little more and draws away. She puts a hand on his cheek, her brows are raised as if she's going to ask a question, but she decides against it and wipes away his tears.

"I have to get to my lecture," she says softly, glancing at the stove clock. "Take care of your brother, Ava." She gathers her keys and coat and kisses Jack's forehead. "I love you." The door closes and Jack listens to her footsteps pad down the old stairs.

Jack collapses on the couch with his sister. Ava curls into his side and rests her head on his shoulder. "What happened?" she asks innocently. Jack closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.

"My friends… they wanted me to talk about my illness, but I couldn't tell them the truth, and now I don't… I don't think we're friends anymore."

"Why? Because you lied to them?" She twists around and looks at him directly. Her short hair sticks up like she took some of Stephen's hair gel. She breathes in his face. They really need to work on personal space. "Lying's bad, Jackie."

"I know," he says quietly as he leans away from her peering face. "But I don't want them to know about it. Th-they can't."

"Why?"

Ava was only an infant when they lived in Oregon, and Jack struggles for an answer. "Because when I lived in Oregon, I told my other friends about it, and they weren't nice. They liked to tease me. That's why we left."

"You were bullied?" Ava asks, frowning.

Jack blinks in surprise. He didn't think she would draw that conclusion so fast. He doesn't want her to know how shitty life before Seaford was. He's her older brother, and he wants to protect her from knowing how weak he really is.

"Yeah," he says heavily. "Promise me you'll be nice to people." He tries to smile, holding out his pinky.

"I promise," Ava says, hooking her finger around his.

"And one more thing, monkey- you don't tell Kim or Jerry or Milton about this, okay?"

"But wouldn't that be lying?"

"No, just don't go around talking about it."

"Okay." She snuggles next to him and watches as Jack turns on the Harry Potter movie marathon.

 **...**

Jack's body is so heavy. Someone calls his name far away, but everything is foggy. Where is he? He tries to stand, but he's held down. He hears his name again, and then he realizes he's in the kitchen with his back against the stove, shoulders slumped forward. Ayla peers into his face anxiously. She holds a couple orange bottles in her hand and extends them out to him. _Which ones?_ He takes one, and tries to read the label, but the letters blur together. He shakes his head and tries to give it back to her, but he's so tired, his arms are heavy, and the bottle clatters to the floor. He leans his head back and lets his eyes rest for a minute.

It lasts much longer than a minute when he opens them, but it can't have been much longer, for Ayla is still seated across him in the same position. One hand is still braced against his chest to keep him from standing up. Everything is muzzy. He feels both present and not as if he's merely watching something unfold. The three pill bottles are standing on the floor near his left foot, and he looks at them again, finding the right ones. Jack counts out the dose and swallows the pills. He tries to stand again and this time Ayla lets him, watching carefully to make sure he stays on both feet. He starts to walk to his room, so he can sleep for an eternity, but Ayla steps in front of him. "Are you okay? You look like you've been… crying." She says the last word delicately as if she's afraid he'll lash out and argue that he doesn't cry.

"No offense, Ayla, but just because you've seen me have two seizures now, doesn't make us friends," Jack rasps. Great, a sore throat, too. He prays she backs off because he doesn't have the energy to argue.

"I've seen more than two. This is, like, the seventh. Anyway, I'm going to take that as a yes and conclude you're still in a shitty mood about it."

Jack pauses, blinks slowly. He clearly only remembers one other seizure. "What do you mean seventh?"

"Ava's come running downstairs, hollering at least seven times, and a few times my mom or dad was home, but I came over anyway to watch Ava. There've been several other times where I was home alone. How do you not remember that?"

"I usually don't remember anything afterwards." Jack shrugs, not wanting to explain more.

Ayla barely considers his comment before jumping back to his personal life. "Are you sure you're alright? Did something happen? Oh, god, Kim confronted you didn't she? I _told_ her not to."

She talks so fast, Jack can barely keep up. "She didn't really. Not about the fight with Kai, anyway. They just knew I was lying and demanded the truth." He steps toward his bedroom, and almost falls when he lets go of his grip on the counter. Stupid side effects. Stupid seizures. Ayla puts his arm around her shoulders and helps him to his room. In a hoarse whisper, Jack says, "I think I lost my friends again." He lands heavily on his bed, tipping onto his side. He covers his face with his hands. "Oh god, what have I done?" he groans. Ayla looks at him sympathetically.

"They'll come around," she says, but her tone is a false cheerfulness. The same tone she uses with her patients at the hospital. Jack shakes his head.

"If it's like Oregon… they won't." His eyes slide out of focus, and falls into a restless sleep.

* * *

 **Thank you, Vicky2015 and optimistic girl94! Your reviews and continued support mean a lot. I hope to hear from more people!**

 **Why does Biology have to be so hard?**

 **-Rui**


	9. Chapter 9

When Jack first wakes up, he feels fine, like the medication has finally kicked in, and he can think clearly, move freely. It feels like a normal day of living with a stupid chronic illness. His feet hit the carpet, ready to endure another day, and pieces of yesterday flash in his mind. Remembering that fight with his friends makes Jack want to crawl back under the covers. At least it's already 10:00, so his mom's letting him mids another day of school. Catching up is going to be hell, and if he doesn't make things up with his friends, it will be even harder. He has one of them in almost each class -they can easily help him catch up on the work, but now he's left alone to derive the physics equations and suffer their cold shoulders.

The house is empty, and he's so sick of being alone. He washes his face, eats breakfast, and takes his medication. If the side effects from yesterday are the same, he has enough time to go for a walk before they cripple him.

It's a warm and breezy as the sun climbs higher in the sky. The air is humid, and it's going to be hot later. Jack clips his helmet under his chin, turning towards the skatepark. After his terrible week, Jack's determined to actually do something fun and exhilarating.

He drops in, relishing the way his hair ruffles, and the sound of the wind against his t shirt. He breathes in the warm air; it was so much more inviting than the sterile hospital or his cramped house. When he's on top of the ramp, a large gust of wind blows, and Jack holds his arms out with his board gripped in one hand.

Nothing matters. He's free. His fight with his friends, the embarrassment of needing Ayla to take care of him, being a pathetic older brother, it all disappears for the slightest moment, and he breathes in until there's no more space in his lungs. It's the first moment in a long time where nothing is restraining him, where there isn't a bar across his chest, and Jack would do so much to keep this feeling inside him. It's so light and so much easier to carry, but the wind slows back to a gentle breeze, and the feeling is gone, leaving Jack with his heavy load again. He lets his skateboard clatter to the edge of the ramp and sets his foot down. He shifts his weight and skates.

When it's time for third period, some of the other skaters arrive at the park, and Jack doesn't know if it's because they have time off from class or if they're skipping. Honestly, he expects the latter, but he's not one to stereotype. Randy gives him a lazy _sup?_ nod. He doesn't look surprised at all to see Jack here after missing a week of school. He should have just befriended these idiots; they would never have put anything together, and he would have made his way through high school easily.

When they meet at the top of the ramp, they exchange a high five. Jack sits, letting his legs dangle over the side, and Randy plops down next to him. "So, Brewer. How'd you manage to miss a whole week of school? I need to add it to my tool belt."

 _Oh, you know, just a severe head injury._

"A magician never reveals his secrets," Jack says with an easy smile.

"I'd have to pretend to be on my death bed, and you can bet your ass I wouldn't be allowed outside."

Jack gives him an all-knowing smirk, going along with this idea that he lied his way out of school. "You just gotta be creative, man." He glances at his phone, he should get home soon. He can already feel the side effects creeping into his bones. "And about being let out of the house, well, let's just say if I don't get home soon, they'll know I left," he lies.

"Dude, you're lucky both your parents work. I'd never be home alone long enough to do anything."

"Yeah, but she'll be home in twenty, so I gotta run." She won't be home until dinner, as with Stephen.

" _Lying's bad, Jackie."_

He immediately feels guilty for lying to Randy, but it's not the same, right? These are harmless lies, and it's not like they're even friends. He says goodbye to Randy and starts skating home.

Jack's trip is smooth sailing, and he's proud of having made it there and back unscathed. It seems like a small victory, but Jack is desperate for any win he can take. He hangs out, surfing the internet, watching tv, making lunch, and he thinks maybe he's caught a break from the side effects. What a nice and easy transition that would have been, but he's one hour into a Bobby Wasabi movie when he suddenly feels like he might revisit his lunch. He sucks on a ginger candy, hoping that will help, and then the fatigue crashes into him, and Jack gives up on resisting.

 **...**

He doesn't sleep as long this time. Stretching his legs, he lazily checks his phone, and answers his anxious mother that yes, he was fine, and no, he hasn't had a seizure… that he knows of. The floor beneath him makes a weird scraping noise, and then Jack hears a melody drift from Ayla's piano. At least she waited until Jack was done taking a nap to practice. He lies on his stomach with his hand grazing the wooden floor, listening to her play. Her music is always interesting. He can't picture her sitting at the bench making this music, it's like she's a different person when she plays. Another part of her she kesps secret from her school life. As far as the band kids know, Ayla only plays saxophone in jazz, and though Jack doesn't know much about music, he knows this is neither a saxophone nor jazz.

Jack blinks his eyes slowly. There's a dull knocking… Is it his pounding skull or does he hear someone knocking? Where is he? The kitchen floor, why is it _always_ the kitchen? There's no more music from Ayla's apartment, so is she the one about to break the door down? He stumbles over and hears a girl's voice yell, "Jack! Open up already." He doesn't recognize the voice. Hell, he can hardly understand the words. He's about to ask who it is -he even goes as far as opening his mouth- but he can't remember how to phrase the syllables. The girl calls his name and he flings the door open. _Leave me alone to suffer through this headache_ , he wants to say. He stares, shocked. Jack doesn't know what he expected, but after last night, he certainly didn't think Kim would show up. She's holding Ava's hand. Did his mom ever say anything about Kim bringing Ava home? Uneasiness grows in the pit of his stomach. There's no telling what Kim's thinking about him after yesterday.

"Jeez, Jack. Were you asleep or something?" _Or something,_ Jack decides. "The door was locked. We've been standing here for ages, and I would have just brought Ava to my house except she insisted that you were here." Jack moves over, allowing them to come inside, still struggling with words. Ava looks at her big brother with a question on her face, but she doesn't say anything either knowing Jack can't respond or that she shouldn't say it in front of Kim. Jack angles himself away from Kim, holding up two fingers for Ava. He wiggle them in a circle, ASL for _seizure_. His little sister looks up at him with wide eyes, but Jack gives her a smile. _I'll be fine._ She bounds over to her bin of toys in the living room, and it leaves just Jack and Kim standing awkwardly. She frowns. "Do you smell something burning?"

Jack spins on his heel, running back to the kitchen. Grey smoke rises from a smoldering pan. _Shit shit shit._ Had he been cooking? He turns the stove off, and removes the skillet from the burner, almost dropping it as he suddenly feels a spreading pain in his wrist. He turns away from Kim as he looks at the underside of his hand. There's a shiny, pink curve from a burn. He must have lowered his hand onto the hot skillet when he zones out during a seizure. That's just fucking great.

"Jack?" Ava asks. "What's that bad smell?" She pinches her nose, and sees him holding his hand. "Are you okay?"

Kim looks over his shoulder. "Ow, did you burn yourself?" Jack nods, clears his throat, wills the words to come out.

"Yeah, it's fine, though." He keeps his back on Kim and runs his wrist under cold water.

"Why don't you go play?" He hears Kim suggest to Ava.

"Will you play with me?"

"Next time. I have to leave soon," Kim promises. Jack reaches for the bandages they keep under the sink.

"I didn't know you were bringing Ava home today," he says, hoping they can keep civil tones and avoid whatever she really wants to say.

"Yeah, I was at the elementary school for cheer practice, it was hardly out of the way. And… I wanted to talk to you." Jack braces himself. "You know I volunteer at the hospital, and I saw Kai there last Monday. I was curious and followed him, and then he was apparently visiting you, and I kinda overheard you guys fight." She draws a breath as Jack watches her with a blank face. "It made no sense, honestly. You were going on about being disabled? I kept it from Jerry and Milton because it didn't seem right to tell them, but I need you to tell me what's happening because you do not seem disabled at all."

Funny, Jack was wrong. He has to prove his illness to Kim and not Jerry. "I lied," he says. "I was just trying to get Kai to go away."

"Oh, so you're not disabled?" Kim asks, sounding skeptic. Does she or does she not believe him? "If you're not, then why were you in the hospital?"

"I- I was- I was sick."

"You don't seem sick."

"You don't seem like a doctor." Jack crosses his arms.

"Please, just talk to me. You look like shit, Jack. Yeah, I said you didn't look sick, but this is different you- you look tired, but okay, It's something going on in your head-"

Jack snorts. _Something's going on in your head._ That is the understatement of the year. "Kim, your concern is touching, but-"

"Do you really trust us so little that you can't just say it? After everything!?"

"It's not like that, I-"

"I've heard enough of your excuses! Do not lie to me and say you're fine, it's not fair when we're only trying to help. Ava was talking to me on the way home, and she said you were afraid of us leaving or bullying you. Honestly, that sounds like a load of b.s. _And,_ just because you're afraid of losing us, doesn't mean-"

"Okay, lesson one, don't tell me _anything_ about myself. Lesson two, learn to keep your mouth shut. You have no idea what I've gone through just to make sure I fit in here, you don't get to act like you know what you're talking about! As soon as I- I tell you, everything I've done here to be normal is fucked, and I'll have to leave again."

"You shouldn't have to leave, fitting in is-"

"Is what? Not that big of a deal? Say that to me when _you_ don't have any friends, when your 'friends' make your life even more hellish, or when everybody looks at you like you're nobody, like you're a- a freak." He pauses and grips his hair with a tight fist. "Milton said last night that I didn't know what it was like, but I _do_ , and I am _terrified_ to know how much worse it would be when high schoolers are the bullies and not twelve year olds. There are only two years left of school, and I just want to get out in one piece." He takes a shaky breath, trying to keep himself together.

"Can't you at least try to tell us?" Kim asks with soft eyes.

"I _am_ trying! I am trying so damn hard, can't you see? Can't you see that this is killing me too?"

"I just…. It's only a few words, isn't it? How hard can it be?" Jack pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. She's never been in a situation where her throat closes up and her stomach unsettles because she can't talk. Kim sighs, understanding that he isn't going to give in. "Then you need to understand that if I walk out that door and you don't tell me, our friendship is leaving, too." Jack turns his eyes to the ceiling, staring at it adamantly. _Keep it together, damn it._ "I hate seeing you like this! Jack, I am _begging_ you, please talk to me."

Everything inside him is breaking, it's dying to push out and let them know, to salvage whatever is left of their relationship, but there's a shadow of a memory. Of Caden flicking water on him, saying that it would cleanse the 'demons' and all the parents were always laying hands on him, promising him that they would pray to take his illness away. What would teenagers do? A fucking exorcism? He holds on to this secret that's ripping him apart. He has to. Jack meets Kim's eyes, and she knows he won't say anything. "No matter what I do, I'll lose you guys," he says in a tight voice.

"No, Jack." Kim moves forward and attempts to reach out. "You don't say anything, you lose us. You tell the truth, and we become better friends because you trust us."

He looks away. "That's what they said, too, but that's not what happened."

Kim steps back, confused. "Who?"

"Caden and Eliah, my… friends… from Oregon."

"You never talk about Oregon."

"Yeah, that's the _point_. They promised we'd be friends if I told them, but-" he breaks off, not wanting to go into detail of what they did. "I knew there would be some teasing, that was inevitable, but it escalated to the point where I couldn't live with it."

"I'm sorry, Jack, I had no idea," Kim says softly.

"Yeah, well, I don't want that to happen again, so…" _Please give up, please let this go._

"We wouldn't do that to you. Jerry and Milton know what it's like to be in the same position, they wouldn't make you go through that, and I swear I wouldn't, either. Trust me, please."

It's not possible for him to explain. He's already psyched himself out to the point where it doesn't matter what she says; he'll slip back into the same panic as last night. He drops his hands to his side. "I'm sorry." His voice is a ghost of a whisper. It doesn't even sound like his. Kim shakes her head.

"So am I." The door slams shut before he can protest. Its old frame rattles from the sudden force, and Jack's alone standing in the kitchen, in the middle of this mess he's created.

* * *

 **Does anyone else remember when this fandom used to be active? I had a different account and holy crap. I would get, like, 15 reviews per chapter, and now I'm happy if I get 3. My old writing was so bad; I don't know why people read it.**

 **Oh! Also check out my new oneshot The Ocean Keeps Our Secrets. It's a cute little story I whipped up at 2:30am. (I promise it's not sleep deprived ramblings. There is a 'lil plot.)**

 **To code name baron and the guest who reviewed this last chapter, 非常感谢你们！You're the sole reason I keep posting xx**

 **-Rui**


	10. Chapter 10

Jack successfully avoids school on Friday, deciding that he needs a few more days between him and his fight with the gang. Although he tells his mom it's because the side effects are still bad. It's not a _complete_ lie. With an extra day and the weekend, he thinks that he'll have enough time to sort through all this crap, but then Monday rolls around and he realizes he's ignored the issue, and he can't avoid anymore school.

Jack's curtains have been pulled back, and early morning light pours in. He drags himself out of bed and into the kitchen. He twirls his spoon around his cereal bowl, nervously awaiting the school day. Lunch is gonna suck: he'll have to sit alone. His classes won't be horrible. A little awkward, but at least he can just sit in his spot and not interact with them. Maybe they'll have calmed down and forgiven him, though that isn't likely. His mom sighs, watching him sit quietly, lost in his own world.

"Alright," she says, taking a seat across from him. "Are you going to tell me what's going on? What happened the other night?"

The spoon clatters against the edge of the bowl as Jack looks up. He shrugs. "The guys called me out on missing a whole week of school and wanted to know where I was."

"So you told them… what?"

"I didn't tell them anything. Rudy said I was with Dad, but they didn't believe it."

"Jack-"

"I know, I know. But I couldn't tell them, and that pissed them off."

"You've talked to them since, right?" She asks and narrows her eyes at him.

"No." Jack spins the spoon around again. "It wouldn't change anything."

"You don't know that."

"You weren't there. Nothing I say will fix it."

"Except the truth."

"I can't." He empties the remains of his soggy cereal in the sink. His mom sighs.

"You should be leaving soon if you're skateboarding, and text me, please, if anything happens." She reaches over and kisses his forehead as he tries to duck away and grab his helmet.

"Yeah, yeah," he mutters. "Bye-"

"Wait! Don't forget these," she says, and hands him his emergency medication. He mindlessly tosses them into his bag, and flings the door open.

"And this!" She holds out his medical bracelet. Jack rolls his eyes and slips it on.

Downstairs, Ayla is swinging her keys around, about to leave. Jack reaches for his skateboard that he has to keep outside when she sees him.

"Need a ride?" she asks, and Jack hesitates before leaving his board against the stairwell. If the others are really ditching him, he might as well be friendly with Ayla.

 **...**

His day sucks, and it's not because his friends avoid him, but at lunch when he's wandering the halls, Frank starts walking next to him.

"You know, Brewer, I heard some interesting information about you, and I couldn't help but notice you and your friends are at odds."

"Go away." He doesn't give Frank the satisfaction as he stares straight ahead. Obviously it's a bluff, it has to be. There's no way _Frank_ could know about his epilepsy.

"That would be a big mistake for you. As I said, I have something on you."

"Fine. I'll bite, what is it?" Jack stands up taller with his arms crossed, trying to look more threatening.

"You're sick."

"Okay."

"Like, old people sick."

"Oh, 'old people sick'? Interesting."

"I _mean_ , I know you're epileptic." Jack almost stops walking as dread runs through him. That isn't possible; how the hell did he find out? Frank smirks at Jack's terrified face. "Do you, like, just, full on have a fit and piss yourself or do you have psychotic breakdowns?" His face is full of evil glee, taking immense joy in Jack's uncomfortableness.

"I'm not epileptic," Jack says forcing his voice to be steady. "I _have_ epilepsy. And how the fuck do you know?"

"I have inside sources. Anyway, you clearly don't want others to know, so if you wish to keep it a secret, you need to listen to what I say."

"There's no fucking way I'll let you blackmail me."

"Okay," Frank says simply. He stops walking in front of the cafeteria. "I'll just tell everyone at lunch then. And would you look at that? Your little Wasabi Warrior friends have lunch right now." He swings the door open. Jack follows quickly and steps between Frank and the rest of the cafeteria.

"Okay, okay. What do you want?"

"I want you to stop fighting back, so everyone can see you for the loser and liar you are."

"Fight back? Against what?"

The light reflects a wicked glint in Frank's eye. "You'll see."

The cafeteria sees Jack and Frank nose to nose, and they quiet down expecting a fight between the two. From the corner of his eye, Jack can see Kim watching worriedly. The warriors pause their lunch and seem to be debating whether or not they should jump in. Under his breath Frank hisses, "Back down." And Jack has no choice but to bow his head and leave the room.

Having been humiliated in the cafeteria, Jack practically runs down the hallway to try and find Ayla. She's the only one who knows about it, so she is the only one who could have told Frank. Or her younger brother who is a black dragon. He's only freshman, maybe he didn't realize it's a secret. She's in math right now, and Jack walks by the door three times, seeing her in her seat. He texts her frantically, demanding that she get a bathroom pass and leave, and then he paces in front of the door again. He jumps back when the door opens and she's standing there looking cross. "What? If you're having a seizure you should go to the nurse-"

"Did you tell Frank about me?" he asks sharply.

"No, I hate Frank. Everyone does."

"Does Max know he's not supposed to go around blabbing other people's medical backgrounds?"

"What are you talking about, Jack? And stop pacing, it's freaking me out."

"Frank knows!" he blurts. "I don't know how, but he does and he's trying to blackmail me, but I can't do anything or else he'll tell people, and I need to know who told him, so I can beat their ass."

"If it was Max, I can promise you you're not going to beat up my little brother, but Frank is probably full of shit. I mean, did he ever actually say he knew what it was?"

"Ayla, he _knows_. I- I don't know what to do." He falls silent and stops moving. The bags under his eyes are darker than usual, and he's tired of trying to swim upstream.

"Just take a few breaths, okay? You don't need to accidentally trigger a seizure now. I need to go back to math, but we'll figure something out." Jack drags the air through his lungs until his mind clears a little. Ayla glances into the classroom. "I'll give you a ride home and we can figure something out."

"You didn't tell him anything, though?"

"Why would I do that when you could spread crap about me? And I doubt Max did either." Jack frowns. There isn't anyone else who knows, so how the hell did Frank find out?

"Okay, I'll see you later." He watches her go back into class, and stands in the empty hallway, having nowhere else to go until the bell rings and he has to go back to class.

It's not the most exciting subject, but Jack's overactive imagination kept him busy, trying to pinpoint who it was and what Frank's intentions are. He pretends to be paying attention to satisfy his teacher, though he doesn't have the faintest idea what is happening. The flat tone of the bell is one of the best sounds he hears that day. Too eager to leave the classroom, he doesn't even put his things away, just scoops up his books and races out the door. Ayla doesn't have this block off like him, so he intends to hide in the back of the library where he can pretend to do work and really watch videos on his phone. The hallway is crowded with the hundreds of other students, and one of them runs into him. He assumes it's an accident until he sees their red and black jacket. Of course it is a black dragon; they are all going to gang up against him now. They jab their elbow into Jack, causing him to drop everything in his hands. His textbook and notes go flying across the hallway, and no one pays any attention as they step on his things.

Jack bends over to pick them up when another shoves into him, and he topples over, falling to the ground. His body hits the lockers and a hollow thud echoes down the entire hallway. A few kids walking by snicker at him, and Jack can feel the heat crawling towards his face. He stacks his books up and clutches them to his chest. Jack's hand is clenched into a tight fist, ready to strike someone across the face. The fiery words are on the end of his tongue, but then his eyes land on Frank who casually leans against the lockers on the other side. He's plastered a perfect, fake, concerned look on his face.

"Oh, Jack, are you alright?" he asks, stepping forward as if he's trying to reach out to Jack. He grits his teeth; a muscle in his jaw twitches, but he doesn't say anything. He can't. Jack shoves his way through the crowd with his head bowed, dying to disappear. One group won't move out of his way, and he looks up ready to fight them. Frank couldn't stop him from picking a fight with other students.

He's met with Kim's familiar soft brown eyes with Jerry and Milton flanking her sides. They look worried, though they don't say anything because that would give Jack a way back into their friendship. He steps around them without a word. He isn't going to look pathetic and hope they take him back as a charity case.

He goes to the library where he strides to one of the cushioned chairs in the back. With a sigh, he pulls his homework out. Emotionally he's worn out and wants to stream videos, but knowing he'll be hit later with a tsunami-sized wave of fatigue, he might as well be productive.

 **...**

The last bell finally rings, and Jack is already waiting in the lobby for Ayla. He's been standing by the doors for the last five minutes, trying to hide from the Black Dragons. Frank started targeting him last block, and he's already paranoid and anxious about it. He regrets all the times he told his mom Seaford was a place he actually felt safe. It's looking like he doesn't belong anywhere. He spots Ayla's dark hair bobbng through the sea of students and Jack leaves a few steps ahead of her, dying to get away from the school.

She runs and catches up with him as he hurries through the parking lot. She eyes him strangely, though she doesn't say anything until they're in the solitude of her car. "So... my friend told me what happened between third and fourth block today."

Trying to avoid the topic, Jack wiggles his eyebrows. "A _friend,_ huh?"

"Hey! I can be friends with girls just like you're friends with Kim."

"Oh, sure, sure." He waves his hand dismissively and then smirks. "But you're not."

Ayla starts to blush and purses her lips, but doesn't argue. "Back to my original point," she emphasizes. "What happened?"

He rolls his eyes as he recounts the event. "They just shoved me around. It wasn't a big deal."

"You're upset about it," she states.

"Well, yeah, who _wants_ to get pushed around? I would have just stayed at my old school for that."

"Why don't you beat him up?"

"He said if I try to retaliate, he'll tell people."

Ayla's silent for a minute before quietly saying, "Is that actually such a bad thing?" Jack can feel himself growing defensive as she continues. "I get where you're coming from, Jack, but if you're really no longer friends with the warriors -which I doubt, by the way- then what friendship are you trying to protect? You always said you want to keep your relationship intact with them, but you're no longer speaking, so who the fuck cares?"

"You're one to speak," he mutters, crossing his arms and staring out the window.

"Actually, I'm out to my closest friends, and it's nice to talk freely with them and make jokes." She glances over at him, knowing the anxiety this idea carries. In a soft voice she adds, "I know what it's like to pretend everyday that you're someone you're not; it's exhausting and pointless, Jack. And then you wear that mask so often, you forget who you really are, so you look like just another normal person, but you don't _feel_ anything anymore. I know you've experienced that, too. You need to take your mask off before it's glued to your face."

"Very metaphorical," he smirks.

"I'm being serious," Ayla argues. "You can't let Frank own you, you need to just _accept_ your condition. And if you're friends leave you, then they were never good friends."

Jack sighs as he rests his forehead against the cold window. "That doesn't make it any easier. And clearly they weren't good friends to begin with because they've already left."

"Then you have nothing else to lose! Tell them and maybe you'll fix it all, or they'll leave. You're not giving them enough credit." Her phone chimes, and Jack picks it up to read out loud since she's driving.

"It's from Kim. 'Hey Ayla I saw you and Jack hanging out earlier and I was wondering if you knew what happened earlier… he…" Jack falters as he reads the message to himself.

"What? What did she say about you?" Jack doesn't respond, staring at the text. "You're not having a seizure, are you?" She glances nervously at him.

"No, I'm just surprised… she said, 'he seemed upset because of Frank but we're not exactly talking so I wanted to know if he's alright and the guys were wondering.'"

"Why is that surprising?"

"They still care?" He looks at her as if she can give him the answer to anything.

" _Obviously_! They're mad and hurt, but they wouldn't just stop caring about you."

Jack doesn't answer, and keeps rereading the text. Sometimes he used to think they only tolerated him, and never did care, but this is proof. Proof that maybe he does have friends.

"Jack, you're not a horrible person -everyone likes you, you shouldn't be so surprised that they're worried."

"I didn't think they would ask other people, though. I dunno."

"All the more reason to try and keep them; they're real friends." She pulls into the little parking lot in front of their duplex. Jack and Ayla exchange a look when they both notice a dark Subaru parked out front.

"Do you recognize it?" She asks apprehensively.

"Nope."

"Huh." She parks next to it, and Jack peers in one of the windows.

"Wonder who it is," he mutters and grabs his bag. "Guess we'll find out." He treads up the old stairs and makes a nervous face at Ayla who has also reached her door downstairs.

Inside, Ava is stacking her blocks on top of each other like usual, and he can smell whatever Stephen is cooking for dinner. It seems totally normal, except the three guests seated at their kitchen table. The blood drains from Jack's face. Why is _Kai_ here?

* * *

 **This isn't the end but I have a few a** **cknowledgments: Vicky2015, thank you so much for continuing to read. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. You've been here from the start, and I hope you stay until the end xx**

 **optimistic girl94, you are holy cow in depth (thankyouthankyouthankyou), and it makes me smile. I love reading your reviews. It's really hard for me to express how much I enjoy heating from you, but I'm pretty sure you know, lol. I've only told you about 100 times.**

 **Guest/Aurora, I hope to hear from you more often because I'm greedy and love reviews :P Honestly though, I'm thrilled you thought it was immersive (to reuse the word you wrote) because I edited _so_ many times, trying to get that effect. Also, thank you for your other reviews :) I'm ! so ! happy ! Thank you!**

 **Rebel-Renegade-Fett: Yes, Jack was a bit irrational, and I know it's repetitive, but that's what exactly I want it to come off as. This story originated when I was in an... _interesting_... spot in my life; I found that I was going in circles, and I created scenarios in my head to cope which then translated into this. So many stories have Jack on a high pillar and I want to knock him off it because he's still a kid. I hope you stay (there are only a few more chapters!) but if the repetition is annoying, I understand.**

 **-Rui!**


	11. Chapter 11

Jack is already feeling low after having a shitty day, and seeing his cousin in his house makes him want to vomit and throw things at the same time. Jack doesn't acknowledge Kai or his aunt and uncle as he isolates himself in his room.

It's nothing against his aunt and uncle, they aren't as bad as their son, but they always get mad when Jack calls Kai out on his crap, insisting that he would _never_ do anything to hurt Jack. Of course that's total bullshit -he has a chronic illness to prove it- but Jack's mom always agrees with them and tries to heal the tension between their families.

Okay, so maybe Kai apologized back at the hospital, and maybe Jack accepted it, but he's still bitter. After being at odds for so many years, things aren't going to clear up magically. They're not going to be best friends, though hopefully they'll be able to tolerate each other.

Jack's heart sinks further when he sees their bags are in his room along with a crammed air mattress. They're staying here and not just visiting? Great. And of course they would be taking over his bedroom, too. He's going to be stuck on the couch and even more sleep deprived. He already has a hard time sleeping on his medication, he doesn't need a lumpy couch to keep him awake as well. Closing his door, he sighs and tosses his backpack on the living room floor near Ava.

Jack makes a point to keep his back on the kitchen as he sits with his sister; he doesn't have to be outgoing and friendly with Kai, just civil. Ignoring him counts as being civil, right? He adds to her tower of colorful blocks until the hyper five year old smashes her hands into it, and it comes crashing down. She giggles hysterically, taking an orange triangle block from his hand.

"Jack, aren't you going to say hello?" His mom asks, but it's really a demand.

"Hi," he says flatly, back still turned against them.

" _Jack_."

He hates exchanging pleasantries. They're always so fake and awkward. He makes a face at Ava, pulling himself up, which takes more energy than it should.

Jack stands under the arch where the kitchen and living room meet and tries to maximize the space between him and his relatives. "Hello," he says in a more civil tone. Kai slouches in his chair with a lazy smirk.

"Hey, cuz."

"Jack! It's been so long!" His aunt leaps up and squashes him in a hug. "You look well!" She comments with too much pep. He knows it's a lie. He still has the long bruise across his cheek, though now it's a sickly yellow, and his eyes are rimmed with dark shadows from his tossing and turning.

"So do you." He pulls away, hoping he can escape back to Ava's secluded spot in the other room.

"How's that head of yours?" his uncle asks loudly.

Jack clenches his jaw. His uncle could be just as ignorant and rude as Kai. Like father like son. "Still broken," he comments bitterly. _Thanks to your son._

No, Kai apologized, and if they're gonna get past this, Jack has to be willing to let it go.

"You still haven't treated it?" He yells. His uncle has interpreted epilepsy to mean hard of hearing. Jack doesn't know how that happened, and no matter how many times he explains the difference between seizures and being deaf, which seem like two very different things, his uncle doesn't get it.

"It's _chronic_ , it's not going away," he mutters. His uncle grunts in response, and Jack restrains himself from flipping him off. Instead he rolls his eyes and catches the warning look from his mom. He's aware he snapped too much at his uncle, but he also doesn't care. If his uncle is going to be a dick, then he doesn't deserve Jack's respect. "Why are you guys here?" She gives Jack another look, and he bites his tongue.

His aunt beams, and straightens up. "We're just waiting for our new house to be ready! We're moving to Seaford!"

"Wh- really? I had no idea!" He stands there, looking stupid. Kai snorts at Jack's face, but he doesn't look very happy about moving either. "Mom, did you know?"

"I found out today."

"Isn't it exciting? Kai's already signed up at a dojo and for school! Sit down, Jack. Tell us about Seaford High. How was your day?"

His aunt must have had too much caffeine before she came over, and Jack wishes he could take some of her energy away for himself. "Seaford's great," he lies. "The worst thing that happened today was that I got an A on my trig test and not an A+."

His sarcasm is lost on his aunt, but Kai catches on and raises a brow. "Really? That's all that happened?"

"Yeah…" _Aside from Frank harassing me._

Oh.

What an idiot Jack is. His aunt literally just said Kai's already joined a dojo, and if Jack knows anything about his cousin, that means he joined the Black Dragons. Kai met Frank and that's how Frank found out. The speech Kai made in the hospital had been total bullshit, and Jack foolishly believed him.

"You're lucky, it sounds like a nice school."

"You know, Kai, you really seem like a go-getter, so you would probably rather. Go to Swathmore. It's private and has much better test scores," Jack says. If Kai is blabbing about his epilepsy to everyone, it will be a mess once he starts at Seaford High, but if he can convince his aunt to go to Swathmore… maybe Jack will have a fighting chance.

"Ooh," his aunt gapes. "A private school _would_ look much better on your college application…" Jack tunes the rest of the conversation out.

He's started to crash. The day had been stressful, using up all reserves of energy, and now he's tired. Exhausted. He's surprised he made it this far considering last week he could barely make it to lunch time. He stands up abruptly, and notices his mom's concern drawn to him. "I'm gonna lie down," he mumbles to her. It's as if he's taken a sedative; his legs are heavy, his brain takes too long to process, and his eyes are sliding in and out of focus. Somewhere behind him, Jack hears his uncle mutter, "Kids these days are so lazy." His mom keeps a wary eye on him as he stumbles into Ava's room, and throws himself on her bed, falling asleep in a heartbeat.

 **...**

Tuesday is rainy, so Jack intends on riding with Ayla, but she has first block off and gets to sleep in, leaving Jack stuck in the car with Ava kicking the back of his seat and Kai. He feels like he might puke, and there's a fifty percent chance it's because he didn't eat much breakfast before taking his medicine, but it's probably the anxiety of facing Frank later. Because it's Kai's first day, Stephen made them leave earlier, making an encounter with Frank more likely. Dreading school, being afraid to walk the halls, is something Jack promised himself to never deal with again, but here he is wishing he could make himself disappear.

"You're being awfully quiet, Jack," Stephen comments.

"I don't have anything to say."

"If this is about the fight you had with your friends-"

"It's not." He wants Stephen to stop talking; the less they talk about this, the less Kai will know, and the less satisfaction he'll get.

"I'll pick you up after school," Stephen sighs, and Jack just nods.

Jack heaves himself out of the car with his cousin on his heels. He hears the crinkle of paper as Kai pulls out his schedule and jogs to catch up with Jack. "Hey, so where's the main office?" Kai asks.

Inside the school, Jack points to the right. "Through those doors."

Kai scowls. "That says 'gymnasium'."

"Oh, does it? Sorry, guess you're on your own." He offers a lazy shrug and makes for his locker.

"Jack! You can't just walk away."

"I can, and I will."

Kai reaches out and grabs Jack's wrist. "What about-"

Jack wrenches his hand out of his cousin's grip. "Don't fucking touch me," he hisses and strides off, leaving Kai. He told Frank about Jack's epilepsy; he deserves to spend his first day lost.

The Warriors are crowded around Kim's locker, hanging out before first block like the four of them used to. Jack wishes they didn't choose lockers close to each other. At the beginning of the year, it seemed like a good idea, but now it's annoying and awkward.

He watches them laugh at each other from a distance. They're all so _happy_. Jerry's almost doubled over, and Kim's trying to keep her mascara from running as her eyes water from laughter. Milton's face is bright red even though he has a suppressed smile that slowly grows on his face. Jack can almost imagine being there with them… Kim looks up as if she can feel him watching, and her smile washes away like an imprint in the sand. Jerry and Milton notice her change in attitude and follow her gaze. Jack turns back to his locker, and tries to hurry away when someone slams him back. The metal rattles behind him as an aching pain spreads from his shoulder to his back.

He's about to shout at his cousin, but then catches Kai's blond hair near the stairs. Instead, Frank looms in front of him and bars his arm again Jack's chest, pinning him against the lockers.

"Hey, Brewer," he says with wide eyes. Jack bats Frank's arm away from him and glares.

" _What_?"

"I need you to write this essay for me. It better be done tonight. Five o'clock."

"Ask one of the nerds"

Frank leans in and quietly says, "Why would I do that when I can make you look like an idiot in front of your friends?" Jack glances over and sees them watching the scene unfold. The rest of Seaford High moves through the halls casually, uninterested. "I could always tell your friends the truth," he taunts. "Then they would really ditch you." Jack snatches the rubric from Frank, and tries to shove him away, but Frank throws him back, pinning him against the wall.

"I told you not to fight back," he says in a low voice. He's taller than Frank, but right now he feels so small and can't bring himself to do anything. He can usually see what Frank will do next, but his behaviour has been so unpredictable. Jack's actually afraid of what Frank is capable of. "I'll see you later, Jackie."

He can't look at his friends. He still has some scraps of pride leftover. Why didn't they do anything? He quickly picks his things off the ground, and heads off to class.

His teacher is always there early and has the door unlocked as Jack takes his seat before the bell goes off. He hates that they have unassigned-assigned seats. They don't have to sit in the same spots, but everyone does, and it means Jack has no choice but to sit next to Jerry.

Jerry silently slides into the seat, and Jack does his best to ignore him. Their teacher is taking attendance, so everyone's talking to each other except for Jack and Jerry until Jerry abruptly turns and faces him. "Why did you let Frank do that?" Jerry finally asks.

"Why do you care?" His voice is hoarse. _Why didn't you stop him?_

"Because you've changed a lot, and it's scaring me."

"I haven't changed, Jerry." _I've just stopped hiding everything._

"Will you please talk to us?" Jerry asks, but Jack clenches his jaw and doesn't respond.

 **...**

After writing class, Jack gets a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He imagines it's the same kind of dread a performer with stage fright gets, or like he's standing at the top of a rocky cliff. He runs into the bathroom and locks the door, sinking to the ground. He's fully aware of what's happening; he can hear the freshman knocking on the door to see if it's occupied and then hears them wiggle the doorknob, but he can't say anything. Words float through his head, but they're gibberish, and he can't get them to come out of his mouth. He can't move.

 _1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144, 233, 377, 610, 987, 1597, 2584, 4181, 6765, 10946, 17711_

When he can feel himself coming out of the seizure, only five minutes have passed since first block ended. Technically he isn't late yet. He takes another three to steel himself, brushes off whatever gross things from the bathroom floor have clung to him, and sets a perfect mask over his face. As he passes students in the hall he makes himself look like the popular kid they all think he is.

Jack stops outside his next class to recollect himself once more and realizes with a pang that he shares French with Frank, and as soon as he steps into the classroom, Frank stands up clapping.

"Ms Taylor! He finally showed up! Bravo, Brewer."

"It's been over a week, and now you finally show up to class?" she sneers. Jack's forgotten how awful she is.

"I was sick."

"Right. Why should I even ask? Was it the mysterious sickness that never seems to end? Did it suddenly flare up again even though no one has any idea what it actually is?" Jack doesn't know what to say. He can't disrespect a teacher, but he also can't say anything about his illness. "And it always seems to get worse whenever something important comes up in class, conveniently allowing you to not show up for a few days before coming back looking fine-"

There's a loud crash and a tinkle of glass followed by a loud stream of cursing. Everyone's head turns to the back of the room where there's a puddle of water and broken glass shards covering the floor. The girl's head is down, staring at the water. "Shit, shit, shit. Oh, fuck," she continues. Having recognized the short black hair, Jack smiles faintly. Only her swears can be heard in the classroom and then she whips her head up. "Sorry, Ms. Taylor. It appears I broke my water bottle."

Ms. Taylor frowns and crosses her arm. "Get it cleaned up, Ayla, I have a class to teach." Ayla hurries out of the room to get paper towels, but as she passes a stunned Jack she winks, and he mouths a silent _thank you_.

The torture of French class finally ends without any other big spectacle. "You know, it's technically illegal what Taylor was doing. She can't announce your medical background to the class," Ayla says after getting her detention pass. She's slightly out of breath from trying to catch up to Jack who was weaving his way through the halls in an effort to avoid the Black Dragons.

"Yeah? Well, it didn't seem to stop her."

"I know, but you could at least tell Principal Funderburk. He would have to take that seriously."

"People would have questions then," Jack counters. "It doesn't matter, I'm dropping French after this semester."

"A wise decision given our horrible teacher, but what about college? That wouldn't look good."

Jack barks out a laugh. "I'm not going to college. Not when I have unpredictable seizures. Or it will be community college. Anyway, why are you walking with me? Isn't your class at the other end of the school?"

"It is, but the streets aren't safe, so safety in numbers, right?"

"I don't think you're going to scare away Frank."

"Ah, you see, Jack, you might have been in Seaford for most of high school, but you weren't here when we were all in preschool. I happened to be an extremely badass toddler and socked him in the face. He hasn't messed with me since."

"You're just full of surprises," he laughs.

"So are you. I saw you with some new blonde kid this morning. Who's that?"

Jack rolls his eyes. "My cousin. He was just enrolled here."

"You're cousin as in the one who push-"

"Yeah, isn't it great? He's also staying with us for a few nights!"

"Yikes. You could always come hang out at my place- it wouldn't be exciting, but it would be away from him. I gotta go or else I'll have another detention." She waves the pink slip under his face with a laugh.

"Ayla," Jack says before she walks away. "Thank you for doing that… and everything else. You didn't have to."

Ayla shrugs. "She had no right, and I can't imagine if that happened to me. An hour of detention isn't a big deal." She starts to leave and turns around. "Just don't tell my parents." She smiles and darts off through the crowd of people. The corners of Jack's mouth turn up just slightly.

* * *

 **Fun fact: I despise chickens. They're satanical birds. Also, parsnip burns are _itchy._**


	12. Chapter 12

Jack kicks a rock along the pavement, waiting until he's outside the mall to get on his skateboard. From the shadows, Frank unwraps himself and jumps out at Jack. He takes a hold of Jack's shirt and pulls him into the alley. "Where is it, Brewer?" he demands, keeping Jack's back against the wall.

"Where's what?" Jack plays dumb and tiptoes around the subject.

"My essay, where is it?"

"I haven't done it yet-"

"I told you to have it done tonight!"

"I didn't have time. I've only done karate since school got out."

"Will you have it done by tomorrow?"

"Yes," Jack admits reluctantly. Frank looks around the alley until he sees Jack's skateboard lying near his feet. He picks it up before Jack can swipe it back.

"I want it by lunch tomorrow."

Jack releases a breath, thinking that Frank would take his skateboard and give it back once he handed over the essay, but then Frank smashes it over his knee, cracking it in two pieces. "What the hell, Frank!" Jack screams. His vision goes red and he lunged forward. His moves are sloppy though and Frank shoves him back.

"If you fight _one more time_ , the deal is off. You didn't have it done tonight. This is your only warning. If it's not done tomorrow, then I'm done being nice. Everyone will know."

"I already said I would do it-"

"Too late, Jackie! I'll see you tomorrow." Frank smirks and drops the broken skateboard.

"That was fucking unnecessary!" Jack yells at Frank's back. Jack doesn't move as he stares at the wooden fragments on the dirty ground. That was the last bit of freedom he had. He can't drive, and it's too far to walk anywhere. Skateboarding was his only transportation.

Slowly, Jack picks up the pieces, and cradles them in his arms, letting his back slide down the brick wall. He can feel the extra hours of karate and side effects settle in his bones like dust in an old library. It gets harder to move and Jack realizes maybe it's not fatigue but a seizure. Panic rises in his chest. He won't be leaving this alley if he has a seizure; he needs to get out of here fast, but his head is spinning and he can't find his balance. He collapses back on the ground before he ever really got up. He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around his knees.

"Jack?"

He jumps and his head snaps up. Jack's heart is pounding, not having heard anyone approach. "It's just us," Kim reassures. "Are you alright?" Jack relaxes. At least they're not going to _physically_ hurt him.

"I'm fine."

She sighs. "I know you're not, you don't have to-"

"I'm fine! Okay!? Can you just leave it?"

"Do you need a ride home?"

"No," he says, and then cringes. He does; he has no idea how he'll be getting home tonight, but his pride is in the way.

"Yes, you do."

Jack grits his teeth. How does she read him so easily? And why does she always have to call him out?

"No," he repeats. Jerry rolls his eyes.

"Don't make this harder, man. Just get up so I can drop you all off." Kim follows Jerry's words, standing up and brushing off her jeans, but looks at Jack again who doesn't move.

"Why are you pretending to care?" Jack asks suddenly. "Are you trying to make it worse?"

"We're not pretending," Milton argues.

In a toneless voice Jack continues, "Yeah? Then why don't you want to be friends?"

"Jack, it's not that we don't _want_ to be your friend… It's that we can't-"

"Just go," he says sharply. "Forget it, I don't want to hear it. Please, just go away." He feels so defeated by them, Frank, the lies, Kai, his illness, his medication… He's tired of fighting.

"Jack," Kim tries, brushing her hand against his knee again, but he flinches away. They exchange looks and Jack rolls his eyes.

" _Go."_ They're startled by his tone and reluctantly leave.

Twenty minutes later, Jack wordlessly climbs into Ayla's car. She gives him a weird look, but doesn't ask anything as she resumes tapping her fingers along to Mozart.

 **...**

Today is Wednesday, and he knows that in hours he'll have his room back. Kai and his parents are supposedly leaving after dinner today. After his last class, Jack slips Frank's essay into his locker. He only spent half an hour on it, and Jack would never turn it in, but Frank didn't say it had to be well written.

Ava is playing with her blocks again when Jack gets home, and he sits with her. His mom and aunt had left to run errands, while Jack's uncle is with Stephen in the kitchen. Kai's not home either, but Jack doesn't care where he is. He's just happy that the house isn't as crowded.

To Jack's amusement, Ava is happily chatting with herself and his attention wanders to the conversation between Stephen and his uncle. "You know," his uncle was saying, "it's rather admirable that you and Libby are together. It can't be easy when one of them isn't all there." Jack fights the urge to chuck a block at his uncle's head.

"Jack's pretty independent," Stephen says with a glance towards his stepson's back, knowing he's listening in. "He's just like any other teenager."

His uncle waves Stephen's comment away. "You're just saying that. But really, I'm not sure I could deal with a kid like-"

Jack walks out. He doesn't go to a separate room, but instead leaves the house completely, jogging down the stairs and knocking on Ayla's door. She doesn't answer and Jack knocks again. He knows she's home; he can hear her playing piano.

The playing stops."Yes?" She asks, peering around the door. "Oh, hey." She opens the door wider, motioning for Jack to go inside. "What's up?"

"My uncle doesn't seem to understand that my cognitive skills are intact, and I can't stand him anymore."

"Make yourself at home," she chuckles. "I'll warn you, though, I have to practice piano, so you won't be the most entertained guest."

"I literally do not care," Jack says, flopping onto the couch. Ayla shakes her head, and sits at the piano. She continues drilling the cadenza into her muscles, and Jack watches in fascination as her hands fly over the keys effortlessly. She continues the rest of piece, enjoying the way the chords are voices. This part is easy, and she glances at Jack to see what he's doing. She laughs a little seeing him stare on the piano, his jaw open slightly. He doesn't blink at crazy martial arts stunts, but all it takes is a simple melody to hold him captive.

At the nearest conclusive cadence, she stops and turns to him. "Do you want to learn?"

Jack raises a brow. "I don't think I could learn how to do that."

"You wouldn't start on a concerto, idiot," she laughs. "I could show you the basics, though."

"Don't you need to practice?"

"Nah, I've already done quite a bit. Come here." She slides over on the bench so she's in front of the lower octaves. Jack sighs and takes a seat on her right. Ayla taps her right thumb. "This is your first finger, second, third, fourth, and fifth," she lists, tapping the respective finger. "And this is Middle C." She plays a note in the center of the piano. "All of these are also C's, and basically the notes after go up the alphabet until G. This is C, D, E, F, G, A, B, and C again. Does that make sense so far?"

"Yeah, but what about these?" Jack asks as he touches the black keys.

"We're not there yet," Ayla says, not sure how to explain sharps and flats. "But now that you know the white keys, you can play a scale!"

Jack looks at her uncertain. "Aren't those hard? I feel like Milton complains about them a lot."

"They're almost all the same on piano which makes them easy, but French horn is different. The basic pattern is 1-2-3-1-2-3-4-5," she explains.

"Uh, what?"

Ayla smiles to herself. "Put your first finger on C." Confidently, Jack plays a note with a white key on its left and a black key on its right. Ayla starts to laugh. "That's an F, Jack."

"F, E, D, C," he mutters to himself, counting back the notes. He plays a C with his thumb and looks at her.

"Yeah, okay, so now you go 1-2-3." She shows him an octave lower, playing C-D-E, and Jack copies. "Now the tricky part is moving your thumb under your hand so it's on F." Again, she demos, and Jack copies.

"See? I played that. I was getting ahead earlier."

"Oh, sure," Ayla agrees with a laugh. "And now that you're here, you just go 1-2-3-4-5."

"1-2-3-4-5," Jack repeats, playing up the rest of the scale. "How do you get back down?"

"Just play it backwards: 5-4-3-2-1-3-2-1." Jack does as she instructs, his bracelet hitting against the plastic keys as he moves, and then he looks at his left hand.

"So it's just the same for left, too?" Ayla nods, wanting to see how he manages it. Jack's so gullible; it's too easy to fool him. He carefully places his thumb on C again and crosses over with his second finger, then his third, replaces his thumb and struggles to continue moving the other fingers over. Ayla tries not to laugh and disguises it in a cough. "That can't be right," he insists.

"Whoever told you music was easy lied. Now do hands together." After a great struggle, he makes it up the scale, and Ayla can't handle it any longer.

She bursts out laughing at Jack's awkward technique and says, "Okay, okay, that's _so_ wrong. Just stop."

"You told me it was right! I was just doing what you said," Jack protests.

"I know. It was just so easy to lie. You had no idea, and it was hilarious."

"Ha-ha," Jack says grudgingly with a smile.

"It's supposed to be 5-4-3-2-1-3-2-1, the opposite of the other hand, 'cause your fingers are opposite." Catching on quickly, Jack puts the two scales together, and starts to speed it up. "Hey," Ayla adds as she starts to think. "That's a pretty good metaphor."

"What?"

"The first way you did the scales -all weird and stumbling- is like you and your friends. You know? You don't trust each other, and you're like, _alright_ , but once I told you the truth, once _you_ tell _them_ the truth, it'll sound better and be easier."

"Don't… Don't make this about them," Jack says quietly, the light fading from his eyes.

"I'm just saying." She bumps his shoulder, trying to get another smile. Instead, he looks at the time and frowns.

"I should be going to practice."

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Ayla watches him, worried she overstepped.

"No, but I'll be late if I don't go now."

* * *

 **Sorry, I know this chapter was really short. It was all I could do this week. I'm trying to work two jobs, school, sports, and my instruments- it's ridiculous, and I'm literally a mess. Did you know there are only 24 hours everyday?**

 **I hope you guys enjoyed the last part where Jack's learning piano. This was my favorite chapter to write; it's a nice little break from the craziness of the other chapters.**

 **Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

Jack does a double take when he sees Milton and Kai hanging out in the dojo. Why is _Kai_ at his dojo? And why is _Milton_ with him? They block and punch, fooling around. Kai's large frame and Milton's wiry body look strange next to each other, let alone the fact that they don't have anything besides karate in common. Kai notices Jack and smirks as he makes an inaudible comment to Milton. Milton turns, looks at Jack, and laughs.

"What are you doing here?" Jack asks, striding over to them.

"Milton asked for some help with his forms," Kai answers, knowing it would piss Jack off.

"What did you tell him? What did he tell you?" Jack demands, turning to Milton.

"Nothing…" Milton says.

"Feeling paranoid, Jackie?" Kai chuckles.

"You just can't stop ruining my life, can you?" His temper starts to rise, and notices the smirk on Kai's face. Kai came here to purposely anger him. "Fuck you." Jack is sick of everything spiraling and not having control, sick of being isolated, sick of the pain and fatigue that keeps wearing away at him, and it all connects back to Kai, to when they were playing and he pushed Jack off the cliff in the woods; a catalyst for everything that's happened since.

"I haven't done anything," Kai sneers.

"You told Frank!"

"I thought people knew!"

"I can't believe I'd forgiven you!" The two boys stand an inch apart, glaring at each other. Milton watches uneasily as he wants to prevent them from ripping each other apart, but they're both black belts and much bigger than him. "That was just another ruse, wasn't it?"

"No! I didn't know it was a secret. I swear, it was an accident-"

"Yeah, and so was attacking me at that tournament during a timeout, and pushing me off the cliff. Everything is just a _fucking accident!_ " Jack shoves him and Kai stumbles back. Adrenaline pumps through their veins, keeping them only a hair away from attacking each other.

"I meant what I sa-"

Kai's cut off when Jack's fist closes the gap between them. It steals Kai's mind, keeping him from countering. Jack pushes him down with a hand around the neck of his t-shirt, and continues to hit Kai. "You ruined everything," he fumes. Kai's hands swing up and block his face. He grabs Jack's fist before it hits him again, and heaves his body up, making contact with Jack's jaw. There's a warm pool of blood in his mouth as a stinging pain erupts in his cheek.

Kai tackles Jack, and cuffs his temple. "How's your head, you pathetic little-" Jack attacks him again until they're both rolling around on the mats like wild wolves. The art of karate they spent so long mastering is forgotten as they hit each other, blow after blow of ugly fists and elbows.

Rudy, Jerry and Kim return from Phil's then with their arms full of food. Rudy's drink slips from his hand, the tropical red juice spills over the mats, and he runs over to the two boys. Kim yanks Jack off of his cousin as Rudy steps between them.

"What the hell happened?" He asks in a dangerously low voice. Rudy stares at Jack, waiting for an answer. Jack's eyes are glazed over and blood is smeared around his lips and nose. Both of them glare at each other, their postures still very defensive. "Knock it off, you two." Rudy pushes them back. He turns to Kai, realizing that neither one is going to yield. "Get out of here. I never want to see you in this dojo again."

Kai pinches his bloody nose and snatches his backpack and pauses next to Jack. _"I'm sorry,"_ he says in raw voice, only loud enough for Jack to hear. Jack takes a ragged breath, and listens to Kai storm out of the dojo.

The room falls quiet and Rudy shakes his head. "Get yourself cleaned up and then we're talking."

He cleans his face even though his lip and cheek haven't clotted yet and are still bleeding. He holds a paper towel to his swollen lip, and hesitantly enters Rudy's office.

Rudy doesn't even blink before reprimanding him: "You never, _never_ , use martial arts unless it's for self defense. What were you thinking? And according to Milton, you threw the first punch! I am _extremely_ disappointed in you, Jack."

Jack swallows hard as he bounces his leg up and down and stares at his hands. Rudy waits to see if Jack speaks up, but finally he asks, "Do you know what a black belt represents?"

Jack cringes. He remembers his grandfather drilling it into him when he was younger. "The plant has fully grown, and you've absorbed the knowledge of the colored belts. It symbolizes control and maturity..." His voice cracks and fades away.

"Do you think you showed that just now?"

Jack grits his teeth, wishing to disappear. "No, sir."

"Then why did you do it?" Jack can hear the exasperation in Rudy's voice. There's no correct answer he can give, so Jack stays quiet. The sensei turns his hand up. "Give me your belt."

"You're taking- No, Rudy, you can't-"

"Yes, I can, and I'm going to keep it until you show you show the traits of a black belt again."

"But you're leaving!" Jack sputters. "Are you gonna take it when you go to Holdrege?"

"Is that what this is about?"

Rudy's eyes narrow on Jack as he unties his belt, folds it, and hesitantly hands it over. "No- well, sorta."

"Jack, I know I've been busy, but you don't have to _attack_ someone to get my attention."

"That's not what happened."

"Then what _did_?" Rudy presses. Jack fumbles with the paper towel he had been holding to his lip. He folds it into little triangles until he can't anymore.

"Kai told Frank about my condition, and I assumed he was telling Milton, too. Frank's been pulling so much shit at school, and I- I don't want people seeing me like that, so I got defensive, but then I lost it because there's so much going on, and I'm losing control and-" Jack breaks off, running a hand through his hair. His chest is tight and aches from the shallow breaths he draws. "I'm so done with everything, Rudy, and I lost it. I'm sorry-"

"What the hell did you do?!" Jack's mother demands as she barges into the office. Jack locks up. "I just got off the phone with your aunt, and she's telling me you attacked your cousin? What were you thinking?! They've already left, and Kai's getting stitches in the hospital- the _hospital_ , Jackson."

"Libby," Rudy interjects. "I think it's best if we talk alone." She sighs heavily, glaring at her son.

"Go wait in the car," she mutters and tosses him the keys.

He glances back at Rudy reluctantly before leaving his office. The gang stands around and watches him leave. Jack keeps his head down. He can feel their stares boring holes into his back, but he doesn't care if they're worried or just curious. Let them think what they want. Besides his stinging knuckles, he can't feel anything. He's exhausted from the world draining him of everything, and he doesn't know how to fix any of it, or if he even wants to fix it. He slams the car door shut and leans his head against the window.

The longer Jack waits for his mom, the more his anxiety grows, wondering how pissed she'll be, how long he'll be grounded. He can hardly breathe as he chokes down tears. She'll be here soon, and he refuses to cry in front of his mom.

His eyes burn as she silently gets in the car and starts into the road. Jack watches her warily, afraid that anything he says will make her yell and afraid that he'll lose himself completely if she does start yelling. The engine hums as she continues to drive, and then puts an unnecessary amount of force on the brake when the light switches to red.

"I did not raise you to be like this. You're _better_ than this, Jackson."

"Yeah, right. You've been too busy working to pay any attention or you don't want to listen. Besides you don't even know what happened, you just heard some bullshit explanation from your sister!"

"I'm not paying attention? You're the one who refuses to talk to me! I've been trying, Jack, but you're so damn stubborn! I wouldn't have to work as hard if I didn't have your goddamn bills to pay off!"

Jack's heart stops beating, and his stomach plummets. He tries to say something, but words fail him. His mom never says anything like that. She's never blamed him for their financial situation or constant hospital visits. He turns his head swiftly towards the window; his hair falling in front of his face. _I will not cry. I am not going to cry._

"And you did this for what? Attention?"

"That's not why I did it."

"Then why-"

 _"I don't know!"_ Jack yells, throwing his head back against the headrest. He blows out all the air in his lungs. "I don't know, but it was not for attention.

His mom rubs her forehead. "Rudy doesn't think I should be mad at you. He's too soft- what you did is unacceptable, and I will not let you off the hook." She glances at Jack, and he stares at his shaking hands, knowing that she's not done. The car stops outside their building. "So," she continues, "I'm taking your skateboard for two weeks even though it should be a lot more worse."

Jack reaches for his bag and dumps out the shards of his skateboard. "Keep it," he mutters, slamming the door behind him.

"Jack!" She hollers as she chases him up the stairs. "What _happened_?" She motions at his board.

"It broke," he says flatly. She glares at him, trying to pry out a better answer, but Jack doesn't give it to her.

His mom sighs and laces her fingers around his wrist, dragging him into the house. She leads him to the kitchen, letting his skateboard clatter to the ground, and forces him to sit while she towers over him with her arms crossed. "You need to explain - _from the beginning_ \- what's going on. Now."

Jack slouches. "My head hurts," he lies.

"I don't care." Her gaze narrows on Jack, a disapproving frown engraved on her face, but her eyes are soft. "I need to know what's happening, Jack. It's the only way I can help."

"I don't need your help."

"For God's sake, Jackson! You hate school, you're eating less, you don't talk to your friends, you attacked your cousin, and you won't even look at me! I am your mother, and I will not stand here while you let yourself drown! I know you think I only care about work and taking care of Ava, but I've been trying to give you space to work this all out. You've been through shit, and I know you're independent, so I thought if I just stood to the side, you'd figure it out. You need to tell me what is going on right now because I am terrified of what's going to happen to you."

A tear runs off his nose and drips onto his jeans and then another and another. She puts a hand on his back, rubbing small circles. Slowly, he recounts everything from Kim overhearing his argument with Kai to Frank blackmailing him and his friends growing more and more distant. "It's all a mess," he finally concludes with a hoarse voice. His nose is runny, and he wipes it on his damp sleeve. "I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" she asks softly.

"What difference would it make? It's not like I can make Frank forget about it; there's no way to stop him."

"We'll figure it out," she promises. Jack nods mutely and grabs an ice pack from the fridge.

 **...**

He tosses back and forth in bed at 3am. His head is pulsing from a headache that's lasted for hours, and it keeps him from falling asleep. He wishes he would have a seizure already, so the pain would go away, but that's not in the cards. Jack rolls onto his left side, flinching when he forgets about the cut Kai left. Jack has no idea where their relationship is now. They had started working things out, but Kai told Frank, and Jack attacked him. They're never going to work through all of this, though Kai _did_ sound sorry when he left the dojo.

Jack groans and stares at the ceiling. Why did this all have to be so complicated?

He's not with a nauseating wave of pain, and he groans, punching his eyes shut. He curls up on his side with his eyes shut tight, waiting for it to leave until it slowly falls back to the previous pounding. None of his friends, he thinks bitterly, would be able to stand this.

Every time Jack feels himself drifting off, he's forced awake by another wave of pain. He knows sleep just isn't going to happen, but it's still too early in the morning for him to do anything else.

The room is shrouded in darkness, and it creeps into his head to mess with his thoughts. Jack misses having friends and being happy. It's only been a week or two, but the days have been so long and exhausting that it feels like it's been months. Pouring everything out to his mom helped a little, but it hasn't solved anything; he's still alone. Jack's tried so hard to keep everything together, but it wasn't enough- he is never enough, and the thought suffocates him. Even worse is the feeling of emptiness that settles in his chest. Numb and hollow, it carves out a hole that aches for sunny days with friends, but that void can never be filled as long as he keeps lying to them. Sobs rise in his chest as he throws himself onto his other side. This emptiness is unbearable, like he's been carrying a frozen package of feelings that have thawed. It eats away at him, and somewhere after 5:30, he falls into a restless sleep.

* * *

 **Rant: I want to quit my job, like, _so bad_ , but I've only been there for two weeks. I would look really lame, but I hate it with a passion; it's one of the most stressful things ever, and they're overworking me. I could get a job elsewhere... If you agree that I should quit say so in the reviews. I honestly will. I just need an excuse. **

**It looks like the rest of the chapters will be short because of my schedule but also pacing. It's really coming to an end soon! So sad :'( I'm going to try and get some oneshots going - if you have any ideas hmu !**


	14. Chapter 14

With such little sleep, all Jack wants to do is stay curled up in his blankets, but that isn't an option. He slowly untangles himself and stumbles into a change of clothes. His head hurts something awful, and he's dreading the day. There's literally nothing to look forward to.

He tries to sleep on the kitchen table, but Ava starts throwing her cereal at him until he picks his head up.

"That's an impressive bruise," Stephen says with a grin. Jack forces a smile back and fist bumps his stepfather, ignoring his mom's frown.

"Don't encourage him, Stephen," she chides.

"Right, sorry. Jack, don't get into fights," he says in a stern, but overexaggerated voice. Behind her back, Stephen winks at him.

"You're going to be late, Jack. You haven't even eaten yet," His mom complains.

"Can't I skip today?" He slides out of his chair and tosses a slice of bread in the toaster. Of course he feels crappy after last night, but with the added headache, and anxious feeling, he really doesn't feel like dealing with school as well. He can't shake the feeling that something horrible is going to happen if he doesn't just sleep and wait for it to pass. What if today he has a seizure in front of the whole class?

"Absolutely not! You've already missed six days."

Jack rolls his eyes, biting into his toast. He feels ready to collapse, but he doesn't have the energy to argue, so he quickly finishes breakfast and takes the medication.

 **...**

He drags himself through school. Luckily, his teachers are nice and understanding, and they don't even have to ask to realize it's a bad day for him. Class with Kim is even more awkward than with Jerry. Neither of them know what to do or how to act. He remembers what Ayla had said, and considers telling Kim the truth and shies away. Kim will be the first person he tells, but it isn't the right time; he can't tell her right before class, and certainly not when there are other students around. Being interested in medical careers, she's most likely to know a good amount about epilepsy and they had the strongest friendship out of all of them. He doesn't know how to phrase it or how to approach the subject, but he'll figure that out later. He sits next to her, shoulders tense, but doesn't say anything. A few times, she catches his eye and they make faces like old time, but then they remember their cold war.

After school, to Jack's dismay, his parents insist on him attending karate class. Something about "keeping his routine" and "fixing things with his friends" to "help with his depression." He's not depressed, he wants to argue, but they won't listen.

Jack takes a deep breath to steel himself and enters the dojo. The Warriors turn to see who came in, and a mixture of emotions pass over their faces: anger, frustration, sadness, nostalgia. It doesn't matter that Jack feels the same way. None of them are willing to budge.

"How are you?" Milton asks. The words are stiff and awkward, but at least he's trying to be civil.

"I've been doing great." He forces himself to smile and pretends his head doesn't feel like it's being hacked at by an ice pick.

"I'd forgotten what a bad liar you are."

 _You have no idea,_ Jack wants to say, but he bites his tongue and scowls. "Where's Rudy?"

"Dealing with legal stuff in Holdrege," Kim says. They all roll their eyes at the same time, and realizing it, they laugh. They're no longer friends, though, and the smiles instantly vanish. They don't know what to say or do anymore, and Jack takes it as his cue to change.

Without Rudy to instruct class, Kim takes charge, and pairs herself with Jerry while Jack and Milton work together. The tension is high between Jack and the others, though they pretend it's not there. Jack's headache remains, throbbing at the base of his skull; it feels like his head might burst open, and he wishes it would. His head would stop hurting then.

Jack blinks and refocuses. _Punch block, punch block, punch block…._ Kim claps her hands, ending the drill. Jack stands up, and the air in his lungs is sucked out. _Something's happening._

He can't breathe; he's going to be sick, and he has to get away from the others. Jack gasps, almost falling to the ground. His heart is thumping so loudly, they can probably hear it. He has to leave he can't be near them he needs to leave something's coming this isn't good he needs to leave he needs to leave something's coming he's needs to leave he needs to lea-

Jack slumps forward, blinking several times, and realizing he's staring at nothing. His head's fallen against his chest. Jack's leaning against the lockers with no recollection of how he got here. He had been working with Milton, but now it seems class is over? His friends are talking quietly in heated tones, but it's all fuzzy. Everything is just… blurry.

"...is _fine_ ," Jerry says.

"You could be playing with his life!" Kim argues.

"Ye of little faith!" Jerry proclaims.

"It's not a joke, Jerry." Milton's voice is scolding.

"I wouldn't _risk his life_ to follow a hunch," Jerry says, offended. Who were they talking about? He sees Jerry sitting right next to him; Milton and Kim are standing a few feet away, but there's no one else.

They're talking about him.

Jack tries to push himself up, struggling through brain fog and wanting to get away from them. He has this feeling that he shouldn't be here. "I need- I need to- I gotta-"

"Hey, it's okay. Take it easy. We've got you," Jerry reassures as he carefully pushes Jack back down. Jack slumps against the wall and then notices his wrist.

"Bracelet…" he breathes, and looks at them questioningly. He tries to form a complete sentence; what's the right question word? Not why, not when, whe-

"I have it," Jerry says. "It's fine. Everything's fine."

But it's not; there's something _wrong_ about not having it, something tells him that he needs it and he should be worried that it's not there. Something bad will happen if he doesn't have it. The only thing he can understand is that he _needs_ his bracelet. "It's fine," Jerry repeats, trying to make eye contact.

"Jerry," Kim starts, turning him away from Jack. "He needs help, something's not right."

"Just _trust_ me. He'll be fine."

"You… have... my bracelet?" Jack asks, slowly piecing the words together.

"Yeah."

Jack blinks several times and then his stomach bottoms out. He covers his face, swearing under his breath as he realizes what Jerry now knows. His bracelet says it all.

"Jack, it's okay," Jerry repeats for the fifth time.

Maybe it's the sleepless nights or the fact that his brain was just electrified, but something inside Jack snaps.

"It's _not_ ," he says, ignoring the way his voice breaks. "Nothing is-" Jack stops again and breathes. "It stopped being okay the minute I woke up in that fucking hospital and missed the demo but couldn't bring myself to say anything, and then I was trying to deal with switching meds which made me so goddamn tired, and I can never tell when I'm gonna have another- That week was bad enough, but then Kai moved in for a few days so I was dealing with his shit, Frank started blackmailing me, Rudy's leaving, and it's okay for all of _you_ because coping with one thing, that's fine, that's easy, but I can't fucking stand this anymore! I can't do this anymore. I can't breathe, I can't sleep and smiling is so hard. I'm so fed up with everything, I can't do this. I _can't_." He breathes heavily and hugs a knee to his chest.

It comes out before he can stop it, and in five seconds they'll walk away. He's officially messed everything up. What was he thinking? Maybe he'll have better luck moving back with his dad, and picking things up in Colorado.

"Why were you in the hospital?" Milton asks quietly.

Jack plays with a thread on his gi. Numbly, he says, "I had a bad seizure, and needed tests."

" _Seizure_?" Kim echoes. Jack glances to Jerry. Don't they know?

Jerry drops the bracelet in Jack's hand and quietly says, "I didn't tell them."

"Didn't tell us _what_?" Milton demands.

The room is still; the air static with anticipation. He closes his eyes, tipping his head against the wall behind him. He feels like he might be sick, but there's no point in running anymore. _Breathe in, breathe out in out in out, just bite the bullet-_

"I have epilepsy."

He swallows hard, and keeps forcing air through his lungs. He can't look at their faces; he doesn't want to know how disgusted they are. Did he really just admit it? Oh, god, he admitted it. He said it. "Jack, that's not funny," Kim says.

"I… I'm not joking..."

"I've never seen you have a seizure before."

"That- I- Didn't I _just_ have one?" His voice rises in panic. The brain fog, loss of time, exhaustion, it didn't come from nowhere.

"Yeah, you did," Jerry agrees. Jack's breathing eases. Maybe he's not completely losing it.

"He was just staring off, chewing his tongue, that's not a seizure," Kim argues.

Jack rubs his eyes, not wanting to go in depth about different seizures. Jerry surprisingly speaks up. "That's a different type of seizure. There are, like, forty." Jack doesn't question why Jerry knows so much about epilepsy; out of the three of them, he expected Jerry to know the least about it.

"Why didn't you tell us you're epileptic?" Milton asks. Jack grits his teeth. I'm not epileptic. "You could get seriously hurt."

"Rudy knows," he says curtly, but Milton continues.

"What if you walked into a busy street?"

Jack wants to hide. He doesn't want to think of all the embarrassing shit he's done but can't remember. "That's why I have my bracelet." He rubs his eyes, completely drained.

Jerry immediately notices and murmurs, "C'mon, I'll give you a ride home." He offers a hand as if he knows Jack's legs will be shaky. Jack takes it, surprised that Jerry knows exactly what to do. It's like he's had first hand experience. What if Jerry also has epilepsy?

"I hope you feel better," Kim says tentatively as Jack and Jerry leaves. She's afraid to say the wrong thing. Milton nods in agreement and Jack gives them a halfhearted smile. He doesn't know what to say either.

Chronic illness is a perpetual state of exhaustion or some kind of aching; he's not going to feel better, but they're making an effort which he appreciates. He swings his bag over his shoulder and leaves with Jerry.

 **...**

Jerry's reaction is still confusing Jack. He doesn't seem surprised, he isn't freaking out, he isn't saying stupid shit. Instead, Jerry knows exactly what to do after a seizure, and is acting like it occurs everyday. Is it possible Jerry also has epilepsy? How had he not realized that? Jack can't stand the silence and questions bouncing around, finally asking, "How do you know?"

"I read your bracelet."

"No, I mean how do you know so much about... epilepsy?"

"My sister's friend had similar seizures, and she had seizures a lot when she was over, so I got used to knowing what to do. And I dunno, I guess it piqued my interest, so I did some googling."

"Had?" Jack asks in a hoarse voice.

"Yeah, they did some fancy surgery on her brain, and she hasn't had one since."

"Lucky." He turns his attention back to the shops they pass. There isn't a specific part of his brain that they can operate on, and Jack will probably never have a long term solution. Jerry parks outside.

"Is there anyone home?" he asks, noting the lack of cars.

"No, they're out at Ava's gymnastic thing. Looks like Ayla's family is out, too."

"Are you alright alone?" Jerry cautiously looks to his friend.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Jack blows off Jerry's concern, not wanting to have more attention drawn to him.

"Really? 'Cause Cami's friend couldn't even count to ten if she had a seizure."

"I'm fine, Jerry. Seriously, all I'm gonna do is go inside and sleep." Jack grabs his backpack and gives him an easy smile. It feels like an eternity since he last gave a genuine smile.

Jerry sighs. "If you need anything, I'm a block away."

"I know and… thanks. You really made that all a lot easier."

"Yeah, sure." Jerry waves him away. "Go get some sleep."

* * *

 **Another short chapter, but I think this moment was long anticipated.**

 **How are you guys?**

 **Hope to read some reviews soon! Thank you _so_ much to everyone from the previous chapter xx**

 **also, I changed my username from t _ada gan iarrachtt_ to _nhemmick_ (I love the meaning of _tada gan iarracht_ but it was a mouthful)**

 **-rui**


	15. Chapter 15

**You know when you're like "this couldn't get any worse" and then you drop your phone in the toilet, your friend is on the other side of the world, the health inspector shows up at work, and suddenly you're in hell?**

 **Yeah.** **T** **hat's been October so far. And fuck, we've still got a ways to go.**

 **Then it all led up to a spectacularly _horrifying_ disaster on Friday the thirteenth. **

**I don't remember putting so much bad karma into the world, but apparently I did something to deserve this. Anyway, my point is that I've been trying to keep my life from literally catching on fire. I just haven't had the head space (ie high functioning depression ? ? ?) to edit this, and seeing as it's the last chapter, I didn't want to post it hastily. I'm sentimental.**

 **Oh, and today? I got the news that we have _another_ show night. All you out there- never ever play in the pit orchestra. Don't make the same mistake as me. It'll just make you hate musicals, hate actors, and best of all, it gives you anxiety.**

 **Thank you so so so much to Vicky2015, code name baron, and optimistic girl94. I'm so grateful that you all took your out of your day to read my story and comment. It's been a crazy ride, and you're all reading to the end. It really means a lot. To people who are reading, but not reviewing, can you post just one word? Please? I want to know who else is out there.**

 **Hopefully I'll be posting more stories soon. PM me some requests if you have them :)**

 **And now, finally, chapter 15!**

* * *

Jack dodges into the classroom after successfully avoiding Frank, and Kim glances up from her phone with a smile. "Hey."

Jack smiles back. The awkward tension from yesterday has almost disappeared as if they'd never stopped talking. Jack pulls out his laptop, hoping that casual movement will ease the remaining tension.

"I'm surprised you're in school today," she says, turning her computer on and facing Jack.

Jack glances up from typing in his password and gives her a questioning look. "Why?"

"'Cause of last night," she says in a low tone. "You know… You were pretty out of it."

He shrugs and says, "I wasn't _that_ bad."

"You look exhausted."

"I've also looked worse, and you never said anything," Jack counters.

She scoffs. "Right, so I should just go up to you and say 'hey, you look like crap, Jack."

"You literally just did."

"No, I was just- I wanted to make sure you were alright. I'm sorry."

Jack nudges her shoulder. "I was joking, it's fine." He knows he didn't sound very lighthearted when he said that, and yeah, maybe he's annoyed that she's being so blatant, but they just started talking again. He won't fuck this up.

They're both quiet for a minute until Kim hesitantly asks, "If you've had worse ones, then what the hell does that look like?" She must have noticed a muscle tick in his temple because she quickly adds, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude."

"It's fine," Jack dismisses. "And honestly? I have no idea. I'm not awake during most of them, and I can't remember anything afterwards. There are a few times where I've been close to biting my tongue in half, and sometimes I wake up in the hospital, but I don't know what they look like to other people."

"It's scary," she says. "I don't think I could ever get used to seeing you like that." Jack shifts uncomfortably. Is this her of saying she doesn't want to be friends? "And I had no idea what to do," she continues. "I'm glad it wasn't a… a…. tonic clonic? Is that the word? I was looking stuff up last night, but I can't remember the terms they used. Anyway, at least Jerry seemed to know what to do."

"You- you looked stuff up?"

"Well, yeah," Kim says as if it's obvious. "Wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, but you did it right away. I dunno, I guess people usually ask questions -annoying, ignorant, stupid questions- before they actually try to understand." Their teacher walks by, and Jack pretends to be engrossed in his work, opening up random tabs for research.

"That's not true," she claims as she logs into her email. "Don't you remember last night when I was being annoying, ignorant, and stupid?"

"No. I don't remember much." He rubs his eyes, trying to think back. "Something about never seeing one, right? That's not the _worst_ thing you could have said."

"Thanks?"

"I just mean you could have asked if it was contagious or something."

"Well, I'm glad you're not mad at me, but… I still don't understand how I haven't seen any others."

"You have," Jack says, distracted as he copies part of an article for evidence. "That time when I was just staring at my phone- that was awful 'cause, like, I was awake, but I couldn't move, and I was so sure you would know something was up, but you never asked about it. There've been a few times at the dojo where the same thing happened. They're just easy to disguise, and I don't need as much… help… after." He continues dragging things around the screen, not paying much attention to the conversation.

Kim stares at him. "What kinds do you have?'

Jack sighs and glances around the room, as if he thinks people are eavesdropping. "Can we continue this another time? I want to finish this." He gestures to his project.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No, don't apologize. It's a legit question, and it's actually really nice that you're interested and not freaked out. I… I'd just rather talk somewhere else." He glimpses at another group of kids again, trying to reassure himself that they aren't listening.

"Oh, I'm freaked out," Kim clarifies. "But you're still my friend."

Jack laughs before he can stop himself. He spent so long torturing himself with this secret for no reason. Kim looks at him, worried at his sudden outburst. "People don't usually say that afterwards," he says bitterly and adds in a softer tone, "You have no idea what that means."

Kim bumps his shoulder. "Do you know how much shit you've gotten me through? Of course I would be here for you."

"It won't go away," Jack warns. "You'll be constantly dealing with it."

"I've dealt with you for the last three years, Jack. If anything, it will be easier because I understand what's going on-"

"Jack, are you getting any work done?" their teacher questions, knowing he's been randomly opening up websites. Kim has managed to look productive even though she's been doing the same thing as Jack.

"Loads," Jack says sarcastically, and Kim snickers. He elbows her when the teacher looks away. "That's not fair, I was at least searching related terms." He gives a pointed look to Kim's computer screen that's full of martial arts gear.

"The world isn't fair, Jackie," Kim laughs.

Their teacher clears their throat again, and Jack exchanges a look with Kim. For the rest of class, they resort to sending obnoxious emails back and forth, not wanting to get a detention.

 **...**

Jack's almost - _almost-_ made it through the day without interacting with Frank, but then the bell dismisses him from class and the Black Dragon is standing just outside, waiting for Jack. He shoves a paper in his face. " _Do you see this?"_ he seethes. " _Do you?_ "

Jack rips the paper away and studies the rubric on it. "So?" he asks with a blank face.

"That's a C+, Brewer. You were supposed to write a _good_ essay. Not one that would drag my grade down!"

Jack crosses his arms. "You just told me to write one. You didn't say-"

A bang echoes through the hall as Jack is thrown backward. Even with Frank's arm barred against his chest, Jack continues to taunt him. "What are you going to do Frank? Tell Ms. Gorman you couldn't bully me into writing a quality essay?" A grin slowly spreads across Jack's face.

Fuck Frank for getting away with this. Fuck his old friends for backing him into this corner. Fuck the world for making him think he should be ashamed.

"I _will_ tell everyone," Frank sneers.

"Go ahead." Jack pushes back against Frank, calling his bluff. "I don't care."

The rubric flutters to the ground as Jack leaves Frank gaping behind him.

He's telling the truth; if Frank does decides to tell people, oh well. Jack isn't going to spend the rest of his time here lying and feeling embarrassed or anxious. It isn't worth it. For once, in a very long time, he feels alright.

 **...**

Jack's chest tightens as he walks into the dojo. Boxes are shoved to the side, ready to be loaded in the moving van.

He sighs, dropping his stuff on the floor and looking around the room. It's just a room, but he can't let it go. Rudy hums as he leaves his office, and his eyes fall on Jack. "Oh hey," he says cheerfully. "It feels like it's been awhile since we've talked."

"Just two days," Jack says with a shrug.

"Yeah, a lot has happened since then." Jack's shoes suddenly become interesting. "I heard that you told the others."

"I didn't have a choice. They saw a seizure, what else was I supposed to say?" He takes a seat on the low wall where their trophies should be proudly standing and watches Rudy move the boxes around.

"It couldn't have been easy, though. I know how much you struggled with wanting them to know, but not being able to tell them." Jack nods uncomfortably and fiddles with his sleeve. He's more concerned with which one of them told Rudy what had happened. "Anyway, my point is, I'm glad you trust them now, and I wanted to give this back." He holds out Jack's belt. "I think you earned it back."

Jack takes it, turning it over in his hands. "Thank you." He cracks a smile. "I thought maybe you would end up taking it with you."

Rudy loosens a breath looking at the messy dojo. "Yeah, I need to start moving all this stuff down there."

"You could always _not_ move."

Rudy smiles sadly. "I can't back out of a job I've already accepted. And I'm not completely ditching you guys. I'll visit when I can."

"What about the dojo?"

Rudy shrugs. "It'll be put up for lease." Jack frowns and turns his belt over in his hand. It'll be shoved in the back of his closet with his other belts. Rudy pushes another box out of his office and into the training room.

"Hey, what was that demo thing you and Kim were planning?" He asks.

Jack shakes his head with a small laugh. The idea seems so foolish now. "We were trying to get more students to join the dojo. Jerry and Milton were finding a new sensei for this place."

Rudy wipes his forehead. "Why?" he asks, out of breath.

" _Why?"_ Jack scoffs. "Because we didn't want this place to close. I mean, we've always had this place to keep us together. None of us want to lose karate. Why are you looking at me like that?" Rudy's staring at him with a pitying look. Was it a seizure? That's usually why people looked at him like that, but he hasn't lost time. He feels fine…

"Sorry, it's just… I already said I wasn't completely ditching you guys. Did you really think I would leave and take karate away from you guys?"

"Well, let's see, you _are_ packing up for Holdrege and you _are_ handing over the key, so yeah, looks like you're ditching us." Jack tries not to let his frustration creep into his voice, but he still sounds bitter.

Rudy passes a hand over his face. "Oh, my god. I didn't tell you?" Jack stares, not sure where Rudy's going. "I've been so busy. I imagined telling you in my head, and I spaced telling you."

"Telling me what?"

The dojo bell tinkles and the Kim comes in out of breath. "Ha! I beat those two losers today!" She glances between Jack and Rudy, and she draws herself up seriously. "I'm interrupting something, aren't I?"

"No," Rudy says. "You need to hear this too. Are Milton and Jerry almost here?"

"Yeah, they should be right behind me," she says, as they burst through the doors, gasping for air.

"I…could have… sworn… we beat…you," Jerry wheezes.

Jack rolls his eyes and looks back at Rudy. "What were you going to say?" Jack's not sure he can take much more disappointment, but Rudy has a glint in his eye that makes Jack just a touch hopeful.

"I can't believe I never told you. Do you guys ever do the thing where you keep playing a conversation over and over in your head until you just, like, _assume_ the other people have heard it, too, but really it's all in your head? 'Cause, like, that happens to me _all the ti-_ "

"Rudy!" Kim cuts him off. "Would you get on with it?"

"Oh. Yeah, sorry. There's a new dojo opening downtown. It's not the same as here, but you can still do karate and Ty won't be the dicta- I mean, sensei."

"What is it called?" Milton asks.

"The Wasabi Warrior Academy."

Jack releases a breath he didn't realize he was holding. It's still a Wasabi Warrior chain, it's still in Seaford, it's not Ty, and they can all go. Downtown is a little farther, but it's not like he's paying for gas. His parents won't care. They'll just be happy he's still doing karate.

Jerry hollers excitedly and throws his arm around Kim. Jack loops Milton's shoulders and they all circle each other.

"Wasabi!"

 **...**

"I do _not_ just sit at home and eat butter," Jerry says crossly.

Kim snorts. " _No_ _one_ eats butter plain."

"It tastes good!"

"It's gross!"

"Let me get this right," Jack says, leaning back in his chair so that it's balancing on two legs. "You eat butter on its own, but you hate avocados?"

"I never understood the avocado fad," Jerry adds thoughtfully.

"Technically that's aimed at millennials and we're generation Z." Everyone stares at Milton, unsure how to reply until the doorbell chimes.

"Pizza!" Jerry exclaims, breaking the silence and almost trips over himself as he answers the door. Milton and Kim go into the kitchen, Jerry dances his way over and Jack pulls himself up. He almost falls over and grabs at the arm of the chair to steady himself. "You okay, man?" Jerry asks, holding a stack of pizza boxes. He has an easier time seeing Jack's symptoms than the others.

"I'm fine," he says, swallowing hard. Now isn't the time for a seizure; he doesn't want to ruin tonight. It's the first time they've all been together since he told them and they're celebrating. If he has a seizure… it would be a disaster even though Jack's told them basic first aid.

But since when is life fair?

Jack doesn't eat any pizza- he doesn't trust himself not to throw up with the headache and nausea. They look at him weirdly, trying to figure out why he's not eating. Jack tries his hardest to stay focused on the conversation and jokes, but the stubborn feeling won't go away. Jack finally gives in. "I'll be right back," he mutters and ignores their concerned faces.

He locks the bathroom door and slowly sinks onto the tile. _Please just let this one be fast_ , he wishes. Maybe it will just be a fuzzy one where he can't move or talk but recovers fine. Then he can go back out there and not make their night shitty.

He clutches his head and imagines shoving the pain into a small corner in his head. It doesn't actually do anything, but he can't just sit here helpless. Someone knocks on the bathroom door. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jack says, but he doubts that Jerry believes him. Jerry can't do anything, and besides, he doesn't want them to see this. They'll change their minds and get angry because he's ruined everything. Hiding in the bathroom wouldn't be as bad as seeing their faces after a seizure.

 **…**

"Do you know what happened?" Someone asks. Jack manages to connect the voice to the person, but anything beyond that is lost. "Do you know what happened?" he repeats.

Jack slowly shakes his head. "You had a seizure," Kim says gently. Jack doesn't say anything and can barely keep his eyes open.

Jerry stands up and brushes himself off. "C'mon. You should sleep." He pulls Jack up and even with Jerry's help, it takes a lot of energy. Somehow he manages to stand, and then they lead him upstairs -though they're probably dragging him. He crumples into Jerry's bed, and falls asleep almost instantly.

…

He stares blankly at the clock. 8:09pm. Why is he at Jerry's house? Why was he sleeping so early? And why does his tongue feel like it's been put through a shredder?

He pads downstairs and sees Kim sitting on one end of the couch sideways with her feet up and Jerry on the other. Milton sits on the floor with his back against the middle of the couch. They're laughing and talking as they play Xbox. There's a coffee table in front of them with cold pizza slices and bowls of candy.

"Brewer!" Kim cheers when she sees him. Jack looks at his friends suspiciously.

"What happened?"

There's a moment of pause as they're distracted by their video game; their virtual lives are at stake. Milton shoots at Jerry who yelps. "You little- ha! Take _that_ , Milton."

Milton's screen flashes red and he throws the controller down.

"Ha-ha! Loser!" Kim taunts and then Jerry's screen also goes red. "Boom goes the dynamite. I said _boom_!"

"Guys." Jack gets their attention back. "What happened?"

"You had a seizure," Jerry says distractedly as he selects the next round of games.

Jack's stomach bottoms out. "I'm so sorry," he groans, running a hand over his face. "I'll just grab my stuff and be outta here-"

"What are you talking about? We don't want you to leave!" Kim says quickly.

"I'm no fun- you couldn't possibly want to deal with me-"

"Jack, we literally sat on the ground with you for three minutes and then dragged you upstairs so you could sleep," Milton says. "It's not like we had to sacrifice ourselves or something."

"Yeah, but next time-"

"Next time we'll still be sitting on that floor next to you." Kim drops her controller and goes over to Jack, holding his gaze. "We don't care how many seizures we sit through. We're not about to throw away years of friendship just because you have epilepsy."

"You don't know what you're getting into."

"Being friends with you is nothing new!" Kim cries. "Ever since we met, I've known you to be kind and caring with a terrible memory and a lot of daydreaming. We all know what to expect from you, and now we know why you act the way you do, and now we can help. You don't have to hide and lock yourself away or sit alone in a hospital anymore."

Jack sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Guys-"

"Jack, here's what I want you to do," Jerry interrupts with a mouthful of Twizzlers. "Sit down, eat some pizza, and help me get revenge on Milton and Kim because they... keep… killing me- no! Not again!" Jerry's screen flashes red again. Kim takes her spot again and picks up her control as they start yet another round. "Stop killing me!" Jerry yells and chucks a pillow at Kim. She kicks at him across the couch and they start fighting with each other. Milton rolls his eyes and tosses Jack a controller.

Jack catches it, taking a spot on the floor and grabbing a slice of pizza. Kim and Jerry are still bickering as they switch to Mario Kart.

"Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm in flavor town right now," Kim says thickly with pizza in her mouth.

"And I'm 72 different flavors of done with you," Jerry snickers.

Kim laughs and throws the pizza crust at him. "Oh! Get got!"

"You guys need to pay attention," Milton complains. "Jack and I have already lapped you two."

"No one likes a show off, Milton." Kim sticks her tongue out jokingly and Milton makes a face back at her, grabbing a handful of Skittles from the bowl on the coffee table. He flings the candy at Kim who squeals and throws a pillow up as a shield.

"Why do you guys throw things so much?" Jack groans. Milton turns toward Jack and then lunges for another handful of candy, throwing it at him. "Oh, it's on." Jack grabs a bowl nearest him and throws the M&Ms at Milton and then the others. Jerry takes the Sour Patch Kids and Kim grabs the Swedish Fish. The battle moves to the kitchen, and Jack takes shelter behind the island, laughing breathlessly and clutching his bowl of candy to his chest. Kim shrieks and slides next to Jack behind the counter. She looks at Jack with a wide grin.

"On three, we turn around and _get them,"_ she whispers, her eyes glitter with excitement. Jack nods and grins back. "One… two…. three!" They stand up and start attacking the other boys.

They laugh and yell and pelt each other with their candies, and Jack thinks maybe Ayla was right; it is a lot better now that they know. He no longer has to force himself to fit in, doesn't have to lie, and he can finally breathe.

Jack's hand scrapes the bottom of the bowl at the same time as everyone else's. "Looks like the game's over," Milton says sadly with a small shrug.

Jerry looks around, his eyes wide. The floor is a complete mess with all their candy pieces scattered around. " _Dios mío_ ," he whispers to himself, horrified. "Mom's gonna kill me."

* * *

－蕊


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